A
female
age
30-35,
*sk The Leprechaun
writes:Right now, I feel like I don't know one of my best friends anymore. (btw, this is a bit long)I met him almost 4 years ago now. On an online forum. We just clicked right away. just by random chance really, i just replied to something he posted. He suprised me, I was ready to lock horns with another online a-hole. Far from it, we've never fought to date i don't think. We're both slow sensible people, we just stayed in touch through the site, but everyday. I'm not eternally glued to my computer, but we get on so well, or we did. Plus we were 13, and didn't want to be stupid and meet up straight away. We got each other's msn, eventually phone numbers, 2 years down the line, we were still talking and texting everyday, we decided to meet up, he lives not far from my step-grans and we go there every holiday and usually most half terms. the first time, with our parents, before we went off together. After that I'd see him everytime I went up there. Continued like that for another year perhaps. He'd text every other day, then every few days. But now, I haven't seen him since last summer. The past few times, He's always been ill, or had something come up right at the last minute. We make these arrangements, I plan my holiday around them, then he breaks them literally like 20 minutes before. I know a lot of you may think it's naive to say I'm losing one of my best friends, as yes, most people you meet online, don't last. But we're really close. I can't explain it really, because he is so unique, he is such a gentleman, a nice, kind, funny, guy. Someone I can always talk to, someone who will always listen, I can always trust. Well, he used to be all that. He was the first person I ever told I was gay, and after that I was the first person he ever came out to aswell. Bet you were thinking we were more than friends, haha. We don't even know why it needed saying, we know each other so well. well anyway, I'm not just annoyed because I get the feeling he's not really ill and doesn't want to see me anymore, we rarely text anymore. It used to be all him, all the time, now it's like a week and a half before I find myself texting him. I know, things are supposed to be equal, but thats just the way we always were. And when he does text me, it's been getting later and later so we don't have to talk for hours like we used to. And it's not the same anymore. It's like someone else who's just changed, just some self obsessed prima donna trying to conform to everything. Thats how I feel sometimes.MSN, he almost always ignores me. He used to pop up the second I logged in. And you know what makes it worse? One of my other best friends started talking to him. fine fair enough, if that were just it, no problem. I'm a lesbian, She (other best friend, real life) is incredibly homophobic (but therefore doesn't know i'm gay) and will throw herself at anything male. He is male. He SAYS he's bisexual NOW. I know that boy inside out. He's a chronic conformist. He only talks about guys now, in terms of deep meaningful relationships, but occasionally says stuff like cheryl cole's fit. because every guy does for reasons unknown to me. She says he's good looking, funny, sweet, I really don't like where this is going. It's crazy, I don't sexually want him, I like girls, but I couldn't bare it if they got together like that. I don't know why, but I feel like maybe thats why we're slipping apart. Like he's not talking to me because he's talking to her. And he knows what she's like, He knows how homophobic she is, and I know thats hypocritical of me, but it bugs me that he knows that and still. He used to always understand me, always know what to say, keep me going, cheer me up, put me straight, be honest with me, make me laugh, listen to me, and just be there for me. But I hit a really low point at the weekend, I got really really depressed (not about him, other stuff, but it may have been a small factor), I'd been drinking more insanely than ever, mixing spirits, drinking them straight in regular sized glasses, I lost count. If nobody had found me, or found me just 5, 10 minutes later, I'd have died on my back lying in a pool of stomach contents, choking on the next load. unable to move, I didn't want to feel. and I couldn't. I apparently screamed for hours about suicide after, I don't remember anything, but they want me to see a therapist now. I thought it would be best to talk to my best friends, and I was right it helped tremendously. With 2 out of 3, including the homophobic one, but when I tried talking to him, he simply said. "hmmm" followed by "i'm going to bed now"I don't know who he is anymore. Is it even worth trying to salvage this relationship?
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female
reader, hahaagirlxx +, writes (3 February 2010):
Hey, you sound like an awesome person who doesn't deserve any of this and i feel bad for you i have lots of boy-mates and i am bi-sexual. It sounds to me like maybe before he liked you as in liked you liked you maybe you telling about liking you before him you were a lesbian has made him feel embarrassed and unable to speak to you about it so he is trying to avoid you. I am saying this as i have been in a similar situation (not trying to make you feel like i am being horrible just better maybe) I think maybe you should ring him, send him a message or a text whatever is best. Even if you know he won't reply still send is either saying you want a chat with him soon or just saying how you feel about what is going on. he other thing you could do is (when your at your step-gran's) if you know where he lives call round for him, see if he's in. Get in touch i would like to hear what your think and how your getting on.
I hopes this helps babe xxxx
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