A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am pregnant by my new ex. We had only been dating 6 months, but the unhealthy relationship he has with the mother of his child has finally broke us. I already had an abortion a few months ago (also his) and I really don't know what to do. I really don't want to go through that again (I had a really rough recovery, so rough that Ive been told I may never be able to carry to term). Do I need to tell him? Part of me wants to keep it because I felt some twinge of motherhood the first time I was pregnant.
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 im not sure if you would even be allowed have a second abortion in such a short time. its very unhealthy and you should be careful of your body. if you felt the twinge of motherhood the last time than maybe you are ready to be a mother!! dont let single parenting scare you as this is something that is more common everyday your bond will be so special with your child. i think you should have the child if thats wat your leaning towards. i also think that you should respect your ex and tell him that your pregnant and also tell him wat your going to do - abortion or not, he has a right to know. good luck hun, i hope you make the right decision, and please take care of your body!!! xxx
A
female
reader, jusd'orange  +, writes (16 July 2007):
You need to get on birth control so that you don't have to worry about having an abortion every few months. This is really damaging to your body. If you're going to have sex, be responsible!
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A
female
reader, Jax +, writes (16 July 2007):
It is up to you and you need to decied what is right but it is his child as well not yours alone. you are deciding the future of your child so what is maybe right for you may not always be right for your child. Put this unborn child first rather thatn yourself. you may screw up your own life as you have the right to do that but give this child, that did not ask to be born, all the possible chance possible to have a good and positive future. and right now one of those is having to right to life, abortion should not be looked at as a easy option. You have been given an oppertunity to become a mother, which some women never get to experience, take time and choose what is right for your child not what is righ for you. It is the biggest responsiblity you will be given is parenthood look at it as a privillage and not as a weapon to manipulate your ex partner.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): This is so hard. Whatever you do you must think it through. Nobody tells you how hard it is when you do have a baby later, to think of the one you let go. When you go for counselling they don't tell you really. I have sometimes tried to express this as an answer on these pages and had my message edited out. The truth is too dirty and painful for people. There are many women casulaties out there who grieve for their babies years later. They thought they were making a contraceptive decision when they terminated. Once a baby is made it can not be unmade, there is just a void left, of a potential life that will never be realised. If you keep the baby you will love it and although it will be hard it will be better than the alternative. Good luck and go gentle before deciding.
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A
female
reader, down to earth +, writes (16 July 2007):
 its really up to you do you think he is going to support you and the baby beacuse you dont want to bring a baby into this world if you know it isnt right.Do you hav a close friend you can trust and talk to ? because i dont think you should keep this to your self so at least if you go through with not keeping the baby at least you wont have to go through it by your self. plus if your not gonna keep the baby dnt tell him coz it will just start arguement make sure u tell me what your going to do when you decide gd luck
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Before you tell him decide if you want to keep your baby. It may be tough being a single mum but loads of ladies do it and there are some wonderful support sites and groups for all sorts of things. I am currently 6 months pregnant myself and suffer from depression.
If you decide to keep the child then sit your ex down and tell him. If you don't then it's down to you whether you tell him or not, but if your first abortion was really rough I really doubt the second one will be any better.
Good Luck hunni.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (16 July 2007):
 keep the baby!just because your ex isnt around doesnt mean that you cant still enjoy motherhood.tell your ex about the baby and ask him how he feels then tell him your keeping the child and that he has a choice in the matter,he can be that father, the one who abondened his child or he can be that father, the nice, freindly dadgood lukkeep me postedhannah
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A
female
reader, Nay07 +, writes (16 July 2007):
 You need to think long and hard about this one dont rush into making any decisions that you might regret later down the line. Whatever you decide I believe that your ex has the right to know that you are carrying his baby. But at the end of the day you have to decide for you and not what he wants. Its hard work bringing up a child on your own, I had my son 6 years ago when I was only 16 but saying that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! Abortions are risky and I would be worried that after the complications you had with your last one another one might do even more damage and could even stop you being able to concieve again. If I was you I would go and see my doctor and talk to them and they should be able to put you in touch with someone who can help you properly through this I dont know how the system works in your country but im sure there will be somebody who can help you! I hope this has helped xxx
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