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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 18 and in my first year of university. I met another fresher there on my first day, and we've been pretty much a couple ever since (and we've had sex several times).However, we're still both "single" (myspace and facebook are beautiful for really hitting that message home), even though this has been going on for 3 months now. It bothers me quite a bit, especially if I see he's left flirty messages for other girls, and even though I really like him I've thought about calling it a day and giving up (especially as he went home early from uni and didn't say bye). Thing is, we always say we love each other, and he's sent me loads of "i miss you" texts over winter break. Just to complicate it, there's another guy I used to fool around with for about a year who's made it clear he wants to start things up again...we're really close friends and I do miss him *that way* too. I don't know what to do...should I cut my losses with UniGuy? Should I talk to him about OtherGuy and leave it open for him to make us official? Term starts next week and I don't know how to play it without going crazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): This sort of seems like a question for the eight ball, you know that game where you ask the black billiard ball a question and shake it and wait for it to give you an answer,,...really only you can decide this one.
But here is something to consider, sleeping with men that have not offered you and exclusive relationship first does not give you much chance of gaining their love and respect and gives them very little motivation to step up an become your boyfriend...they can have their cake and eat it too because you allow it, perhaps that is all you expect, but from you question it sounds like you want more than just sex from uni-guy...
And the other one is fishing for sex too, but I am not so sure from your point of view of things if he is asking for relationship either...one way to find out is to withhold sex and be a romantic friend and see how interested in you he really is....if he likes you he will wait to have sex with you even though you have slept together before....can't tell you what to do here, you have your own mind and ideas on this one......
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