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male
age
,
*arry
writes: i have been seeing a woman for about 10 years i love her but she doesn't understand that where i live has nothing to do with us.i got a girl pregnant many years ago her family disowned her.we made a home together for the baby.i can no longer work but i do odd jobs for people.every thing i have is here and i just can't leave.i don't know why she can't just be happy with what we have together.i am very good to her. i take her places and buy her everything she wants but that isn't enough.i do love her and don't want to loose her. am i wrong or is she just selfish. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 No, YOU don't understand that it DOES matter where you live. She has invested 10 years in a relationship with you, that is a lot of time and a huge chunk of a persons life. Yeah, she's been in denial, this is nothing more than an affair to you, but to her it has been much more. Women, (it's the truth guys, sorry) Don't invest themselves in a relationship with out expecting some sort of forward moving progress (ie: living together, marriage, children.) She should have dumped you say.... 9 1/2 years ago. Sorry to be so brutal, but you posted the question wanting advice. My advice is... commit to one woman OR the other, stop being so selfish, and be a real man.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Of course you are wrong. What I can't believe is that she has put up with this arrangement for 10 years! I hope she wakes up, smells the coffee and tells you to get your own place or it's the highway.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 She doesn't want you to buy things for her, or too take her places.
She wants to spend time with you and to know that you are commited to her, and she has every right to feel insecure as you have a child with another woman who you continue to live with. Have you thought about how you would feel if it was the other way round?
Have you thought about moving out and living on your own?
To be honest I think this woman you are seeing has been very very patient to of waited 10 years for you, when you are not prepared to meet her half way. You say "where you live has nothing to do with us"
But of course it does! she wants a life with you not to feel like she's second best. I think you have to make a choice to fully be with her or to go your seperate ways.
Good Luck!
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