A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know where I stand with my boyfriend and would like your opinions. We have been seeing each other for a few months. He works hard but makes time for me. He calls and texts every day. He is gentle and caring and I can talk to him about anything. He confides in me and turns to me when he has problems. He is there for me when I have problems too. The only thing that niggles me is that when I say how I feel about him etc he changes the subject or looks away. I don't get it. I tell him I care about him etc when he is down but he doesn't say anything back.I don't understand. His actions are so caring, romantic, attentive but I'm now thinking "is it all an act"? What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, just wanted to say thanks to you all for taking the time out to offer me your advice. I'm going to slow my head down a little more and let things happen naturally.
Thanks again x
A
female
reader, Empressjai +, writes (30 May 2010):
 It is us girls that find it so easy to talk about love, feelings and emotions. The guys find it much harder as they are wired to do more than say. What i can see is a guy who is showing you how much he cares for you in his actions so pay attention to that and not to be so focused on what he is not saying.
You need to drop the romanticised, idealistic views on relationships and be more realistic. You have been seeing each other for a few months hardly enough time to really know each other.
Your dating and dating is the first step where you find out if this guy is worthy to be your boyfriend so stop looking for his declaration of love and enjoy the time you have together. Pay attention to his words and if his actions back up those words, he seems attentive and caring and considerate yet all you can moan about is him not say how he feels. Would it be better for you if he poured forth with sweet empty words only and treated you badly?
Enjoy who your with and stop seeking words of affirmation. He sounds like a really nice guy...enjoy!!
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A
female
reader, maggie777  +, writes (29 May 2010):
No I don't think it is an act. He obviously cares for you but maybe he feels shy about emotional stuff. Maybe he got stung before or lacks confidence. Trust your gut on this.
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A
female
reader, ldg99  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 I think he might be just a little shy, but I am not sure. Men are totally different from us
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A
female
reader, noodle +, writes (29 May 2010):
Like the others said hun his actions mean more than his words he's very attentive and obviously cares for you it seems like he just isn't ready to express his feelings in words yet he sounds like a lovely guy so don't push your emotions on him to much otherwise he may start to feel pressured to say things before he's ready too. Just enjoy what you have at the moment its only been few months so give it time and he will say it when he's ready hun hope that helps x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Generally but with exceptions ,most men are not able to emote or share about their emotional feelings.
It is the way they were brought up to suppress their emotions.Some of them could be embarrassed and do not know how to handle this kind of intimate situations.
They are not good at verbalizing their feelings and they would rather prefer to do it through their actions.
Men have their own language of love which is different from woman's.
Actions speak louder than words.
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