A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met a guy nearly 3 months ago and he wasnt sleezy, asked me out for a meal, we went back to his, had a great night and for the past few months its been fantastic! he rinses my clothes twice cause i hate soappowder being left on them, he told me how he took ages deciding what soya milk i wanted and hes told me that i have no idea how much he likes me. when we first met he told me he's split from his gf a month ago after 10 years (they lived 80 miles appart - never moved in with each other and he said he was really unhappy) and this was because he wanted to go to another country to live. her dad's really ill and they still speak which i dont feel threatened by it cause i know he really likes me. i told him i didnt want to get in his way and he should carry on with his plans, but he was like 'im not going anywhere ive met you, i really like you etc.' anyway after being off ill at work hes gone back and is so stressed he looks unwell. He's been quiet for a week but has still text/called ayway we met a few days ago and he was still not his self. he's quite shy and finds it hard to talk I asked him and it wasnt until we were on the bus he told me has lots of issues work stress, he needs to go see his ex's dad, he has exams at work which are so hard to fit in and he wants to live in a hot country. i said to him 'are you telling me what i think you're telling me' and he said 'no im not. call me later tonight.' so i did and after an hour and a half (hes very very indecisive btw) i said to him i dont want to twist your arm to be with me, but it sounds like you're wanting to end it and he said he didnt but he didnt know where he has the time/effort for a relatioship. i said to himn whats stopping you from calling it a day and he said 'cause he likes me. i told him i know how much he likes me and i dont get the impression he wants it to end, chill out and we can see each other 1 day a week or whenever. he said this wasn't fair on me and we should be able to see each other whenever. We ended the conversation on a positive he was out early the next day and said ill text you with kisses on it (he didnt put kisses the day before thats how i knew he was strange) and he said he's call too. no text, no call. i left it 2 days and sent him a hi how was your day out? hope your fluffy clothes kept you warm (he was wearing dungarees!!!) anyway - no reply and that was a day ago. i really want to speak to him face to face because i know he relly likes me and I've never felt this connection with anyone and want to at least talk to him. he lives round the corner from me and we got really close - would see each other 4/5 times a week. should i go round and try to talk to him. i'm worried about him as I think hes so stressed and has panicked. but i also dont want to make an fool of myself. I spend all day and night agonizing, I know I've fallen in love with him and though he was the same as hes told me he really cares for me and I've no idea how much he likes me. He bough tickets for us to go and see a gig a few weeks away, hes spoken about going to stay away at his fav place next month. Help :) x
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at work, his ex, moved in, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, iagirl  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Ouch, this is a tough situation. The question to ask yourself is, is this kind of behavior really what you expect from a boyfriend? Have you read that book, He's Just Not That Into You? Unfortunately, actions may speak louder than words. Maybe he's afraid of ending it because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings?
Basically, the ball is in his court now. I wouldn't visit him because if he wanted to talk to you, he had a chance to do it by responding to your text.
I know it's human nature to wonder if something bad happened to him, like if he got hit by a bus or something. But after the conversation you had where he almost ended the relationship, that scenario is highly unlikely. Give him space and see what happens.
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