A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been on a roller coaster sense starting high school. I have had friend problems guy problems and of course more. Last december I got to the point that I felt so alone I cried every night. I have never had problems with making friends and get anlong with many people, usually people that are older. I felt so pressured last summer to have sex that I gave up my virginity to someone I barely knew, I let my best friend treat me like shit and didnt stand up for myself, I let everything that anyone said get to me. This past winter I started dating this guy that is very sweet and caring, and he goes to a different school. In the past I have tried alcohol smoking regular stuff too. I had been dating the guy for 4 months before everything went downhill. I loved school while dating him i had many friends and everything was great. Something I know is wrong with me though because I found myself trying to get pregnant with him. I wouldn't keep the baby but I just felt like I needed something else...I don't know what. I started becoming friends with this 23 year old women through sports and hung out with her a few times a week for practicing soccer. I stared to changemy attitude more carefree and slutty I would say. I feel influenced subconsiously by people. Then with my boyfriend I started to get bored which I think is normal but then something really bad happened. I was just getting a little tipsy with my friend and we called this guy 4 years older and we both hooked up with him like a threesome...and i had sex with him...the next morning I didnt feel guilty or anything and i wanted to be single for the summer. We hungout and were a little drunk with the older guy again and we had a threesome again. Then it got out to the whole school...my boyfriend never found out but i broke up with him just wanting to be best friends..we hung out as friends yesterday and things were fine..i have really bad anxiety and i cant help but feel alone...and feel like life will go by way too fast. Is there anyone out there that can help me...I don't know whats wrong with me but I am obviously not in good health, please dont be critical it wont help me. i am on anti depression medication but I need more help please do!
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best friend, broke up, drunk, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Understand you are fully responsible for your behavior. No one else can cause or force you into doing what you have done. Also what you've done are actions, and they don't define who you are or who you'll become.
Most of what you have done, I see as filling a void to what you lack in yourself. I was worried about your lack of guilt, but it if you didn't see that a change needed made, you wouldn't be here now. It seems as if your sense of self is off balance, so you're "self medicating" by engaging in negative behavior patterns.
When you think about who you are, what comes to mind? What we're going to discuss is redefining your sense of self. Why are you depressed? Why do you feel so lonely? Especially why were you trying to get pregnant, and not keeping the child, that was a poor choice, because you affect your sense of self, and the lives of others.
I don't believe depression is the only thing that is going on with you. I don't think it's something that you won't be able to get control over, but you can't control what you don't know. I urge you to see a counselor, and request a full psychological exam is completed. Remember this, it's not bad to have issues you need to address. I do. I work with with behaviors daily, and I still take my medication. So having to get help is not bad. Ignoring it and letting the issues grow to being out of control is not the best choice. I hope this helps. Get the tests done, and keep us updated. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat last answer was a bit confusing i little too wordy...i cant seem to understand what you are trying to advise me to do and sorry the age is wrong becuase i took over my sisters acount and i dont know how to change it...please i need more help and advise..i am in over my head!!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 June 2009):
First, before answering this question, I have a real simple rule when I give advice. That is, I can't give sufficient advice unless you're truthful.
I believe your story is, but your age range is not. In order to give you information that will really help you. I need to know your age, because there are hormonal differences and changes for different ages which can help me to understand these behavior changes you're going through a little better.
Thank you.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 You let life happen to you, you let outside sources influence your emotions, your self worth, your decisions.
You lost yourself in the process of "people influence me", you don't know who you are anymore because you changed too much.
You're confused about life and try to find happiness with pleasure. Pleasure kills happiness though.
Find out who you are.
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A
male
reader, moony  +, writes (15 June 2009):
hey i know if you are taking anti depressants and visiting sites like this you must be devastated. i wont judge you as slutty and neither would i say anything critical to you. but i want to help you in a real manner. first of all, everyone thinks that they don't need anyone's sympathy...that's bull shit..we really need it. its human nature. we need some one to show that they are sad because we are upset. i will give you an example...just think about a child who gets himself hurt while walking..would you just let him fall? would you just tell him to cry till he gets fine? no you would simply try to bribe him by giving gift or by loving them. same is with you. you should not be crying. instead you should pamper yourself. do things which you enjoy. i would say join some place where you find new friends who dont know about your past. i know it sounds kiddish but trust me we all need to be kiddish some times. just close your eyes right now and think about all the good things you know about yourself. or when people praised you. a major problem is that we lose our self worth. i lost it when i needed it the most. i dont want you to lose it. and if you have i guess we both will have yo try and build it up again. even i let myself be treated like shit by my friends and i regret it. you cant forget it but just do one thing. start hanging out with more people. but dont have sex with them all. just a healthy relationship. and i will tell you one thing. quit smoking and drinking. you will surely get fine. you may think i am talking non sense but trust me if you kick it out of your life you would get better in almost a month. i have been through a lot. i have spend 8 months crying non stop every day or night. but i cam out of it. actually you know what having an ambition helps a lot. i am a student. i made an ambition that i would study for my competition exams from where i get my admission to a college. i was not able to get a very good rank but you know what while preparing for it i stopped thinking about my past. i was under so much pressure of performing that i forgot the past. i don't have any ambition right now and see here i am...visiting this site at the middle of night because i feel a little depressed...i lost the only girl i have ever loved and that too without my fault...we were good friends...she was going out with some one else... but you know if i could help you out i would feel better. so i would love to help you out. if you want anyone to talk to just add me in your friend list in this site.
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