A
male
age
30-35,
*mtakingitback500
writes:Ok where do I start. Well first off me and my girlfriend have been together for five years. We loved each other very much and helped each other get through very tough times in our life. She has always dealt with bouts depression and I have helped her get through them. Anyway we have both always wanted to go to college and we both started at separate universities. I live about three hours from her. I was not able to come and see her as often as I would like due to school obligations. Well anyway she started hanging out with a guy at her college and I did not think much of it because she has had guy friends in the past and it didnt bother me. But she started spending more time with and started becoming distant. Come to find out she gave up her virginity to this guy. Well over Christmas break we got things straight and had sex and she took my virginity. She tried to break up with him on several different occasions and he would not take no for an answer. He told her that she had to tell him face to face. So she drove back to her college to break up with him. She calls me four hours later and all of a sudden "we shouldnt talk for a while". So I took her for what she said. She called me a week later and said she wanted to work things out. She said he guilted her into getting back with him. So I was like ok we can sort things out but you have to get rid of him. She tells me she wants to because she wants to be with me but whenever she tries to, she calls me back and says that she cant and that she wants to die because she doesnt want to deal with this anymore. She says she cant be happy with him long term. This weekend I was supposed to go with her to get her tatto in our hometown. Anyway she slipped and told him that she was going to go get a tatto. So he told her that he was coming with her and took off from work and invited himself. She told him no but he wouldnt take no for an answer. So he ended up going anyway.So what it boils down to is, I think he is emotionally abusing and manipulating her. I think that she is scared of him but she will not tell me. He wont take no for an answer and she lets him punk her down. He has said some weird comments aznd mentioned "going stalker" on one of his ex's. I want her to get rid of him so we can be togehter again. She has told me that she loves me and not him many different times. How do I handle this situation? I dont know what to do. I feel helpless. Can someone please help me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I think that this girl is taking you for a sucker. She is playing you.
Please dump her. She is not worth he trouble. Find a girl who doesn't lie and who doesn't live as a drama queen. You deserve better. And anyways she is used goods. She is with this other guy bec she wants to be with him. It seems like she is in a 'proper' relationship with him and that she lies to you about this.
Get rid of her, she is toxic and she will pull you down. Cut off all contact with her.
You are in college so enjoy yourself. Find someone you can trust and get rid of the cheating ex.
Too much of drama with this girl and you deserve a clean break. Her BF is not manipulating her, she is manipulating You. She is sleeping with you both and she is holding u back from your future.
You may see things differently but from a stranger, this girl is not worth it. Get rid of her.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Sounds like she is having the best of both worlds flitting from you to him. One of you needs to make a decision for her to help her out in all her confusion. You could let her know not to come and see you again until she has ditched him. you will soon find out one way or the other which way she wants to go but it's the only way to stop her from her dilema. If she does decide it's really you she wants then you must ask her to leave the college and the other guy and be nearer to you.
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