A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a wonderful man for 10 months now and I can't imagine my life without him. My only issue is that due to the economy I am unemployed and struggling to support my son. My boyfriend flaunts his money around and buys himself extravagant presents. He will spend $200-$300 a week on clothes but wants to go Dutch on dinner. I have never asked for a handout from anyone but I'm getting more and more offended that we only go to cheap places with coupons when he's buying but when I am we go to normal places or I spend $50 on groceries for a home cooked meal. He has voiced repeated concern that I cannot find a job so I know he will dump me If I don't. Although he loves me he has stressed that I cannot live with him either because he doesn't want me to live off him when my unemployment runs out. I'm conflicted because he's great in every aspect except for this. I'm also confused as to why he doesn't pay more knowing I can't afford to eat out. Is this something I should worry about? I don't want to seem like a loser so I never act poor so he won't leave.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): I don't think he cares about you very much. When you truly love someone, you are not going to leave them just because they are unemployed. That would be ridiculous! If I were you I would leave this cheap man before he leaves you. Not only is he cheap but also very inconsiderate and selfish.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): You say that your BF is a wonderful man in every other area except this. Although it is true that he is under no obligation to support your financial needs because he is your BF. If he were your husband than he would definitely be under obligation to support and contribute fairly to both of your financial needs. However the fact that he has lots of extra money to go around and spends extravagantly on himself and than flaunts it in your face, that combined with the fact that when he takes you out he intentionally goes to the cheapest places and uses Coupons(What Cheep Man) and than when you take him out he expects you to not hold back and go to more expensive regular places and for you to spend more money than he spends on you when you go out(Knowing full well your financial difficulties). This Says 2 things LOUD and CLEAR...1) He is a selfish person at heart and only truly cares about himself and what he wants and needs. 2)He is not caring and sensative to your needs and from what I can see is a double standard man. He want's his cake and eat it too without regard for what it is doing to the person he claims he loves and cares about. True Love is Selfless and always puts the other persons needs before your own. When both man and woman in a relationship live this way and act this way towards each other they can go through anything and have a strong relationship that will last. However if one or both in a relationship are selfish or double standard than it is a devorce or break up in the making. Not a matter of "IF" just a matter of "When".
It is not his obligation to support you at this point however if he really loves you he wont ask you to do things that put you in an even more difficult or tight situation rather if he loves you he would not have to but want to be more mindful of your financial struggles and perhaps instead of buying 4 clothing items a week he could by 2 or 3 and use the rest of the money to take you out so you don't have to pay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): Talk to him. When he wants to go somewhere you can't afford, tell him that you can't afford to go there. If he insists, let him order and you not get anything. Pull a p&b sandwich out of your purse and eat it while he eats his expesive meal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): Its his money, he should spend it on whatever he wants.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been unemployed for 6 months and apply to at least 6 or more places week. I have been offered positions but none that pay enough for my basic expenses. My son is 3 years old and currently I get no custody from his father. I had my life together before this happened but now I'm just living day by day. It's hard keep up going out to eat and doing stuff whe
I know that I can use the money on things I need more. My boyfriend seems to be insensitive to my situation
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 What have you done to find a job and how long have you been unemployed? Also, how old is your son?
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