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I don't know what gender I want to date

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Question - (12 June 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *icemike1 writes:

Im 18 years old virgin male and never been in a relationship but i want to have one. Now the big problem with me is deciding what gender do i like men or women. I can see myself dating and being in a relationship with a women but not a guy but i easily get turned on by watching a guys hot body or a cute guy and i cannot resist. When seeing a naked person i prefer looking at a guys. Im always fighting with myself thinking alot wether im gay bi or straight. Maybe is the fact that i never been in a relationship or lost my virginity to someone that i keep thinking of this, im still trying to find out whos my type.I wonder if anyone had ever had this kind of problem before. Maybe i am bi and if so i wonder if its better having a relationship and losing your virginity to a guy or to a girl. Thank you for the respond.

View related questions: lost my virginity

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A male reader, Nicemike1 United States +, writes (4 July 2011):

Nicemike1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Nicemike1 agony auntthank u all for the comments i really appreciate it

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A male reader, topher747 United Kingdom +, writes (12 June 2011):

topher747 agony auntbeing bi or being gay isn't only about who you want to sleep with. you said you you couldn't see your self with a male, im gay and i can only imagine myself with a man. its about who you feel comfortable with.

i'm 18 to but i knew i was gay for years and years before i accepted it, so i had lots of gf but was never happy with them, which is what then made me finally admit to my self that i was gay and now im much happier.

if you think you might be bi, you should think about with you would prefer and then go out and look for a "bit of fun" or a relationship with that gender and see if your happy if you are great if not move on to someone else.

losing your virginity should be done with someone you really like and trust and happy with, so when you find someone you feel like that towards you should consider losing it. but don't just go out looking for someone to have sex with cause that wont be as good of as experience as if it was out of love

hope this helps

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011):

I think you should lose your virginity to someone you care about, regardless or whether they're male or female. Perhaps you should try dating in general and when you feel ready to lose your virginity, just go for it. But not as a way of succumbing to pressure. I'm pretty sure you like at least one (or more) person, as them out!

I don't see why you feel the need to label yourself as gay/bi/straight. As I understand it, labels are a way of identifying yourself for society and why do others need to put you in a box with a specific label? It is finally your prerogative.

You don't need to have a 'type'. That will just be a way of limiting yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011):

Well my advice it to get experience with both and then decide. Date a guy and have sexual things with him. Then date a girl and make love to her. See then which one you like better

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A female reader, Holli'  United Kingdom +, writes (12 June 2011):

Holli'  agony auntHello,

I understand what you mean and I woudn't be in a rush to lose your virginity as it is special and you can only lose it once so you should do so to someone special.

It would be difficult for you to decide now whether or not you prefer men or women, however don't beat yourself up about it. If you don't have any experiance then that is what you need, try to get into a relationship with someone you like regardless of what gender they are. See how it goes, if you are happy and then if you want to lose your virginity with them. It all depends on the person who you get into a relationship with, so you want to choose someone who you are attracted to and who is wonderful and interesting on the inside too.

Best of luck I hope this helped you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011):

your not thinking this way because your a virgin and never had a relationship because i am 18 and i have never had sex or a relationship and i like girls full stop.

now personally i think your bi but more guys for example if you would like a threesome 2 guys and 1 girl your preference for exampl only but if i was you if you like someone just go for it if its a guy or a girl and then if it doesn't feel right whoever your with then try it with the oposite gender then see how you feel

good luck and hope i helped

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