A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here is a bit info about me: I grew up in an unhappy marriage household. My parents never got a divorce(living in a conservative country) and argued everyday. To this day, I do not know how conflicts should be handled between couples or what is considered ok and what is not. I feel that when I ask people about my relationship problems, they are so quick to dismiss the relationship. But when it comes to themselves, I have seen my friends accept things that I thought were unacceptable.I have been dating this guy for a year(long distance). We were always long distance. We met when I went to visit a friend in his city and he was friends with my friend. He is 29 and has never been in a long term relationship. We talked on the phone first and then I decided I will visit him, why not? We went on a date and he tried to sleep with me the first night. I thought that was so aggressive and hated it. I stayed because I thought wth I live in a small town, I probably won't have sex for a while. (Fine, judge me.)From his behavior, I thought he was a jerk and we would be done. But he wanted to visit me and I thought ok. He told me he loved me, took me to meet his whole family. So over the summer, I do not teach and he said I should stay with him over the summer. However, he said that I should get my own place because his apartment would be "overcrowded". In my opinion, this is a red flag and I should protect myself. But maybe it is not a big deal, I have no idea.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2016):
 I have a feeling your friends don't take your relationship seriously, You have only met the guy a couple of times and you say you are in a relationship, do you even know this man well enough to call him your boyfriend? Okay so he introduced you to family, but are you sure you are the only woman in his life, also why would he want you paying rent when you could stay with him, it sounds to me like he will call you when he is bored and wants sex. I know that sounds harsh but there is no evidence here to suggest that he loves you, words are cheap, go by his actions.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 July 2016):
 You have been in a LDR for a year and he wants you to spend your summer with him, but NOT at his place?
That makes no sense. One WOULD think (at least I would) that he would WANT you to BE with him as much as possible while you can, he will be at work during the day and come home to you! What better thing can a guy want for? Sorry. I'm an introvert, I need some space/time for myself during the day (if possible), but I would NEVER feel like if my partner were staying at my place that it would be OVERCROWDED.
It seems like a one-sided relationship to me.
Telling you that he loves you is great, but does he SHOW it? Words are cheap, OP.
Taking you to meet his family can be great too, but again... it doesn't have a HUGE significance these days, for many people. I know when my BIL was casually dating various women he would bring them to family things (hubby and I called them "flavor of the month", because they rarely lasted more than that) But BIL is big on doing family stuff, and for him I think bringing the date to these is giving them a glimpse of him that she might otherwise not see. Doesn't MEAN he wants to MARRY the woman.
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