A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I met someone a few days ago, but we’ve been always known each other by face and name, since we go to the same college and he’s a close friend of my boyfriend. A Friday ago, my thesis group had an overnight stay at his place because we needed to finish our paper for Saturday. After having done so, most of them went home. Only I and one group mate spent the night there with him. So we got wasted. My boyfriend’s friend carried me up to his room, planning to sleep in the room downstairs. It wasn’t like he intended to do anything, but it just happened. We didn’t have sex. We just made out and talked a lot, and the funny thing is, bit by bit, we were regaining our senses, but we never stopped. He left after sunrise to avoid arousing suspicion from my sleeping group mate downstairs. Sunday, he asked me out. We had a date the entire day the next day, ending it where we had first started. I’m unhappy with my boyfriend. I’ve been unhappily living with my boyfriend, verbal, physical and emotional abuse from both of us, for the past two years. We have a one year and eight month-old son whom I love dearly, but I know I can’t sacrifice my own happiness just so he’d grow up with his parents together. The friend is leaving in April to work in a company his family owns. My boyfriend is leaving in May to work there. I don’t know if we’re only playing games right now, but I know I want to fall in love with the friend. We just realized that we have a lot of things in common—and these aren’t as trivial as favorite colors and numbers—but things that made our eyes light up—those that spring from our inner child, accounting for who we are today. He told me he couldn’t help kissing me when we lied so near each other, and that I seduced him, he’s sweet and he talks a lot coz he says he gets nervous around me… I know we’re probably rushing into things since yesterday we were talking about what our kids would look like. This is all so surreal to me. What should I do?Today is Tuesday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, omit the "been" word in the first sentence. Second, i really think im in love with him. It's stupid how i sorta panic when i cant find him, or that i cant sleep without saying goodnight to him, or that i get extremely sad when he leaves me to do something else. I look at him and i feel like i cant breathe... When i dont text, he keeps asking where i am, he hugs me a lot in bed (we've been spending more time together), he doenst try to get into my pants, and he likes photographing me even though i say i hate it. He promised we'd be together when im single. I know he means it coz he keeps mentioning it. He's not a bad guy. We just messed up a little and we feel like we're in too deep and we've felt too much to WANT to do anything about it. I love him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 February 2010):
Have you heard of the saying 'out of the frying pan and into the fire'? Basically, it means that you're jumping from one bad relationship into the arms of a man who isn't all that great either for doing the dirty on his friend. You know you need to leave your boyfriend, but seriously take some time out and work out what it is you want from life. Don't' want into the arms of another bad boy.
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