A
female
age
41-50,
*angerine Toffee
writes:I was in a store, around early November when I noticed this guy promoting something or another. He was vocal, to say the least, and just sooo funny. I couldn’t help but chuckle! He caught me while I was picking flowers and just stared straight at me. No smile. I couldn’t read any emotion on his face. We both just stood there staring at each other across the store.I didn’t think much of it at the time. Just carried on picking flowers.On my way out of the store I passed him to look at something else. When I walked passed him…he all of a sudden went quiet. I didn’t dare say anything.The whole time I was standing almost next to him and he never said a word. Then he moved away to talk to someone. On my way out of the store I had to pass him - again. I couldn’t avoid him. As I approached he looked at me, and said very softly, “Well, you have a good afternoon miss. That’s a nice sense of humour you have there.”My response - I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know what possessed me…but I said, “I know.”I was not prepared for his comeback.“Wow, beautiful and arrogant!!”I just smiled and kept walking.I waited to go back to that store, only to find out that the store closed at the end of the month. I was crushed!Two weeks ago I went to another store in the franchise. To my surprise…there he was! I didn’t say anything to him. We made no contact. When I got back to the car I noticed that they overcharged for the flowers. So I went back into the store and our paths crossed.I was holding two bunches of flowers…he had to move out of my way…but offcourse he wouldn’t let that one pass and remain quiet, now would he?!?!Noooo…He asked - quite loudly with a massive smile plastered across his face,“Are those for ME????”My response was…”They could be!”I didn’t see that one coming. I was in shock. I know it was a horrid comeback!Anyway…last weekend I had to go back to that store to again…buy flowers (among other things.)And there he was!My friend and I were discussing what to buy. We were wondering how long would the mangoes last as they were greenish…but also looked a bit sluggish. He popped up next to me to add his two cents.“They would last a long time…much longer than the flowers!”He smiled and walked away.He remembered me, because of the flowers??? No, couldn’t be!?A little while later I went to pick out some flowers (alone). There wasn’t much of a selection to choose from.And …there he was! He came to chat. I asked, “What happened to the flowers???”He said - they all sold out! I was devastated. No flowers?! Then all of a sudden, he leaned forward and whispered into my ear…”flowers for a flower…”I didn’t quite know what he meant by that. It came out a little shy and sweet rather than creepy and irritating. I just kept talking. He got called away.And then I paid for all my stuff and left.So, my question is…what’s the next move? Do I make a move? Or do I wait for him to think up something?Is it a smart man who can compliment and insult a women at the same time, or is that the tell tale sign of a player??
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crush, flowers, player, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, WeeTodd  +, writes (23 August 2010):
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by what I said, but I didn't know you wouldn't be able to take itYou look good for your age!Are you good with animals, you smell like you have a few catshave a pretty dress, I think it would look better on someone with a tanYou everything in a women, that i never thought i wantedI just stumbled on this question... By now you have probably made another excuse to see this guy.To answer your question, yes he is a player. The reason why your so attracted to him (regardless of his looks) is that he is interacting with you in a special way with his body language, and he is maintaining/heightening his status without giving any to you (you're going to have to look it up). Basically he making an effort to make contact with you, but then brushing you off (the game is on). If you met him again / go on a date, he may be a little insulting, then funny, and act uninterested. Maybe he gave you an insulting compliment (i.e. thats a pretty dress, I think it would look better on someone with a tan... or ... you're everything in a women that i never thought i wanted). He is basically playing a cat and mouse game to increase your interest in him.Just cause he a player, doesn't mean he is not truly interested in you. If you want to shake him and beat him at his game, try the following tactics:Tell him in conversaions things like: You're so predictable.... or I got you figured out... Tell him he reminds you of your little brother (or the little brother you wish he had).Tell him in mid conversation that you have to go but that he can call you. Give him your phone number and tell him when to call you. say wednesday at lunch time. If he calls you tell him he's "a good boy". He will probably call you later (trying to re-establish dominance) if you see his number, don't pick up. then call him back and call him by a diffent name (Mark or something), then correct yourself. never apologive in any converstation.In a converstation, ask him why he likes you so much. If he tell you he doesn't, tell him that his body language is saying something completely diffrent. Ask him if he wants to kiss you. if he says yes, tell him he will have to work a lot harder.If he is super confident, break his shield. ask him about his high school days. asked him if he ever got caught masterbating. tell him he looks litle the type. ask him if he ever got busted by his mom. Tell him your testing him (if he is a player, he'll know what that means). later Ask him for his mother's phone number... but don't give a reason why. if he asks, tell him "nevermind, you're so easy to read."Now you're a flayer (female player)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): geez, when was the last time you were on a date?
another question- how many cats do you have?
sorry, okay on a serious note, do you like him, is he appealing to you any way? well, if that's the case, stop worrying and go with it. i really doubt that the guy is a super creep or a criminal, so if he actually has some seduction skills consider yourself lucky as most guys these days have little or none. just stop thikking and go out with the dude. then you'll see what's he about and whether you should keep seeing him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): Sounds like he was just teasing you, but if anything were to develop and he kept at the insults, I'd say he's all player.
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A
female
reader, curiouscatxoxo +, writes (30 January 2010):
Well...he's definitely coming on to you... The thing is, you can't really know if he's a player or not until you see more of him! which means to find out...you gotta hang out! Get a date... here's what you do! Next time you go there... looking all pretty (of course) and when he inevitably approaches you to flirt, play it cool and act as if you already know that he wants you passionately and let him know through eye contact that if he plays his cards right lol he might get you. Then when he says a thing or two, ask him what he's gonna do about it! "So how often do you see pretty flowers that you don't pick?" etc. Let him know non-verbally, that if he asks you on a date you will accept (this way his fear won't get in the way). Then, he'll ask you on a date and yo can see for yourself what kind of a man he is...player or truly genuine gentleman. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (30 January 2010):
 I don't get it. What was insulting? All I see from your post is that the man is interested...
I would have more trust in a man I met at a store, than one I met at a club or bar!
Let it play out...see if he makes a move.
and by the way, I think your response "It could be" was perfect! A little flirty, but perfect for the whole scenario!
My advice...keep buying flowers!
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