I don't know if my wife and I will ever have sexual relations again

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, Sex

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Question - (27 October 2008)

6 Answers - (Newest, 28 October 2008)

A male age , anonymous writes:

Well,Cupid, I doubt that even your strongest arrow can solve this problem.

Oh. I hear the reply. "Whatever could be wrong?"

It's kind of straight forward. The usual, man meets woman, woman and man marry, woman all the sudden doesn't want to be intimate with man. Man craves some female companionship. Blah, Blah,

But let me explain a little bit about the situation.

I have been married for fourteen years. In that time I have been faithful to my wife. I would do things for her, surprise her on her birthday and our anniversary. Get her things for no other reason than to be a romantic husband.

However, in the last three years she has seemed to drift away from me in all aspects. Especially sexually. She seemed to let herself go and was gaining weight. I have tried to be intimate with her several times but it has gotten to the point where I just have given up. She shoots me down every time. It's a different excuse every time. A headache, a toothache, tired, have to get up early, our son might hear, someone may come over, cramps, sick to her stomach, on her period. By the way, just how many times a month is a woman supposed to have that?? Because by rights, my wife should have bled to death by now.

But lately she has changed. She dropped thirty pounds or more, seemingly over night, is fixing her hair differently, dressing differently, putting on more perfume than ever, and is gone sometimes for quite a while. I have suspicions that she is either interested in someone else or is already seeing someone. I have heard her mention another man's name in her sleep, which is very unsettling.

I questioned her about it once and she claims not to know anybody by that name.

She is forty five, and I am fifty seven. Now, I want to say that, no, she isn't going through the change. She hasn't shown any signs of that. And I have read and seen programs that say someone her age bracket usually has sex two to three times a week. Well, she sure isn't having it with me. I have lost track of how long it has been. Several months. Possibly about a year since we have had sex. Not that I haven't tried.

I tried to get intimate with her not too long ago and she shot this at me.

"That's all you want. Sex all the time." At which I guess I should have said,, "Yeah. I want it all the time because I ain't gettin any." I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I won't be having sexual contact with her, possibly, ever again.

Now then, with all of that said, Here is some more interesting stuff to add to the equation.

(Her younger sister.) She is always coming to me for something. Help with a car, take her somewhere, do this for her. The list goes on.

I have really liked her for years. She just does something to me. I have wanted her to say, do, try something with me for a long time but she hasn't done anything I can be sure of that was a hint.

I have caught her looking at a certain part of my anatomy a few times and I know that she hasn't been with a man for a lonnnnnng time. Sometimes it seems like she is tempting me. I won't go into the specifics but she has flaunted things at me in a provocative way. I can't see that all of those were just accidents.

Is there a way I can tell if she is interested in me in a sexual way? What do I look for? I don't dare do anything first. With my luck, she would say something to the wife. Just more fuel for her to burn me with.

If she were to approach me first then I think I might just take her up on it.

Am I wrong to want something so bad? Any suggestions on what to do?

Sincerely,,

Beyond Frustrated.

View related questions: anniversary, period

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I appreciate all of the feedback, advice, and more pertaining to my question that I submitted. I have been at a loss as to what to do about it. I have no one to really discuss this problem with and having so many people respond and try to help me ,even a little , was a welcome thing in my life. I will give every one of these answers my closet asttention . And, I will try , one more time, to make an effort at trying to find out what is causing my wife to be so distant and cold . If I can not acheive a tiny bit of success with her,, then, I guess it will be best to consider a separation or more and get on with my life.

Thanks.