A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! I'm having a really hard time with a recent breakup. I dated my ex for three years, and we really loved and cared about each other. He was my everything. About eight months ago, I had to move a few states away to go to college. I really didn't want to move and leave him, because he had already started his career and could not come with me, but he said he wanted me to go so I could have a good future. We promised we would stay together, so we have been doing the long distance relationship thing for a while now. Its been hard, but we always found ways to make it work. I would make trips during my college breaks to see him, and on one trip five months ago, he asked me to marry him! He said he knew I was the one and didn't want to wait to ask any longer. Everything seemed like it was going well, and I was making plans to go to a college my family and I can afford close to him so we wouldn't have to be separated anymore. We were both really excited and couldn't wait to start our lives together, but a few weeks ago everything changed. He started getting really impatient and demanding. We fought more than usual, and he was always yelling at me and blaming me for everything because I had chosen to leave him. Finally, about two weeks ago, he broke up with me and said the long distance was just too much for him to handle and he couldn't take it anymore. He assured me it was nothing that I did, just our situation. I was heartbroken, and we didn't talk for about a week afterward. I left him a message saying that we needed to talk a few days ago, and he immediately called me and I told him that I didn't think I deserved to be treated like that, but if he didn't want to be with me anymore I would respect his decision and that I loved him enough to let him go. He said that he felt like he needed to work on himself for a little while and that he didn't really want to be seriously committed to somebody until he felt like he and I were stable enough in our own individual lives. I agreed and cleared the air between us. I told him I still loved him, and he said that when I move back that we can try to rekindle things. That was the last time I talked to him. However, yesterday he was posting all over Facebook to the point it was impossible for me to avoid that he was with some "amazing" girl and that he has to have her! It broke my heart to read it. I know the girl he is talking about. She is 16, he's 19, which I think is illegal. She has a boyfriend that lives states away too, but he is planning on moving close to her within the next few months. I don't know what happened so quickly, but I think he is insane! He let go of a girl who so desperately loved him and was willing to do everything for him to be with a 16 year old girl who already has a boyfriend. Most of my friends think he is posting things like that to make me upset and jealous on purpose, because when we were together he never posted anything like that about me, even when we were hopelessly in love. I feel so betrayed. I can't figure out if he is doing this to make me jealous or if he is being serious, in which case he is a total idiot. So much for working on himself. Any advice for me? I am so heartbroken over this and it has been tearing me apart.
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broke up, facebook, has a boyfriend, heartbroken, jealous, long distance, my ex, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): You really need to dump this guy and focus on your education. Long distance relationships rarely work, and you are two young people just going back and forth. He is just a boy who has no idea what he's doing. He's keeping you dangling, fearing you'll start dating other guys while you're away at school.
He publicized his interest towards another girl on Face Book. Does he have to hit you over the head to make you move on? Wasn't breaking your heart enough? You are too young to be caught up is this foolishness. It is distracting you from what is more important...SCHOOL.
End all communication. Start dating and keep your mind on school. He's 19 and he isn't ready for anything serious. Nor are you!
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