A
female
age
41-50,
*ucerin
writes:I have never written in any love advice sites before, but have been enjoying reading this site, so I decided to give it a try. Thanks for reading.I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months. From the beginning, I thought he was not the right person. First of all, he smoked, I can't stand smoking. He owned a dog and has always had dogs, I have never and will not want to live with an animal. He has never traveled outside US before and didn't even own a passport until recently and has lived within 10 miles of his family all his life. I left my parents at age 14 to live on my own in a foreign country, and travel nearly 40% of the year domestically or internationally for my work. He is 38 (American) and I am 30 (Chinese). I guess I stayed regardless with all our differences, because the chemistry was great and he is a very supportive and caring person. He is also a loyal partner, as I travel a lot, he always waited for me to come home. (we live about one hour drive away from each other) I know that being on long distance relationship and me traveling so much is very difficult, and I appreciate him for it.But, lately, I have been seeing more and more our differences, (even religious beliefs) and became convinced that it would never work for us in the long term. On top of it, he has been having financial and other problems. I have lent him money and tried to be there for him, but it seems like my care for him is just never enough. He is a very sensitive and emotional person (Cancer sign) and I (Aquarius) am usually detached and unemotional. All these emotions feel suffocating to me. He is so sensitive and for me, much more needy than I am, makes me just want to break free. And my intuition tells me that he is not the right person. But, again, I have not had many relationships before. I have been trying to break up with him on multiple occasions, but he would not let me go. He always put up with it. At the same time, I also see his good qualities, and it has been difficult for me to let go completely. I know I am not giving him the best of myself because of this, and we are in a vicious cycle. What should I do? If I break up with him, am I throwing away a good man, but if I don't, am I ignoring my true feelings and wasting time to meet another people?
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female
reader, eucerin +, writes (23 September 2012):
eucerin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your answers. They are all very helpful. I guess everyone is telling me the same thing. I also know it deep down, but sometimes I just wonder if it is also me that creates the problems, that maybe better communication skills can make all the differences seem smaller or even attractive, because opposite attracts, right? Yesterday we got in another fight about him saying my not giving anything in this relationship, saying that he sacrificed a lot and his love was not returned, which really hurts me and make me want to break away even more. Even if two people's love for each other is not equal, if it is true love, shouldn't it not to be measured? I broke up with him today... though I do care for him very much.
He really does love me and tries to be there for me, and I do the same for him. But, why do two people who care about each other so much have such a frustrating time understanding each other and coming to a conclusion together? Love doesn't conquer all. Life does.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 "I've een trying to break up with him"
stop trying and do it.
"he would not let me go"
no you are not being strong about it... which means you have mixed feelings.
when the bad outweighs the good you will leave
or if someone else catches you eye.
you are delaying the inevitable.. better to go now...the longer you drag it out the more painful it will be.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 He is not the right man for you or else you would be happy with him. It's time to be strong and leave him for good this time. There are plenty of other people out there and probably one that's just right for you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 What seem like minor differences now have a good chance of becoming problems later on. Think of degrees on a compass.
I'm a Sagittarius and tend to be detached and unemotional as well so I can appreciate the need for space and independence. That is not something you can compromise.
Your gut is telling you he isn't the one and you've provided enough reason for me to say go with your gut.
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