A
female
age
30-35,
*eShell
writes:Hey, I'm just going to get right down to what I want to ask. I just recently lost my virginity and before any of you very nice agony aunts ask if I used protection and all that. I did, that was the first thing I made sure we had, it was a whim, but I'm happy. I picked a really nice guy to loose it too and that makes it better for me. Anyways. I don't know if I've ever had an orgasm and I was just wondering if anyone here can tell me what it feels like? I read that some people feel like you have to pee, but you don't and it's the orgasm? Is that true, because I had a similar feeling the last few times we played around with oral and sex. I just pushed the feeling down because I just thought I had to pee and it was weird how it came up during my sexual moments. Anyways can anyone tell me? I'd really like to know! :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (27 May 2013):
The best comparison I've heard is to a sneeze. After you have sneezed you don't wonder, did I sneeze? and an orgasm is just the same but more fun. I don't remember my first sneeze but I certainly remember my first orgasm, both, on my own, with a girl, and finally in a girl! Even better I remember one of my girlfriends first orgasm. We had been having sex for over a month and I wasn't sure what she was feeling, not like the movies, until one day we happened to have an aerosol can of whipped cream and it didn't take me long to work out where she liked the cream licked most! I had no shortage of calories to burn off in that relationship! Try it, I'm sure you will enjoy. If your boyfriend has a problem consuming so much cream try chocolate sauce, or both! Enjoy.
A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (23 May 2013):
 You would definitely know if you'd had an orgasm. There's a build-up (can take quite a while) and then a release, with spasms and stuff. You'd know, believe me. I agree with those who recommend experimenting alone. You can take your time, and that's important.
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A
female
reader, MeShell +, writes (23 May 2013):
MeShell is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for the responses. I'll try out some of them things and hopefully I can get my first orgasm! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2013): If you have to ask you definitely haven't and when you do experience it, you will be in no doubt! Also what the first postser said is true; it's often very hard to experience orgasm through actual intercourse. Just relax and it ll come naturally! ;) xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 May 2013):
 http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/sexual_response_orgasm_a_users_guide:
"Orgasm is a brief -- even when it feels like longer, it usually only goes on for a handful of seconds -- peak of sexual excitement which begins during and follows the plateau phase. Orgasm for someone with a penis often involves involuntary contractions of the prostate gland, vas deferens and seminal vesicles which usually (but not always!) also cause the ejaculation of semen. Orgasm for those with a vagina often involves a series of involuntary muscle contractions around the vagina that may or may not produce an ejaculate or a vaginal secretion. For all people, throughout the whole body there is an increase in muscle tension and relaxation, especially around the pelvis, and orgasm also creates chemical changes in the body in terms of inducing hormones like endorphins. We also know that orgasm, quite literally, alters our brain: the limbic system (the part of the brain about emotions) is very involved in orgasm: orgasm can tend to trigger emotions and visual and other sensory memories.
It's really tough to describe what an orgasm feels like. Not only does it differ from person to person, one person can experience any number of different sorts of orgasms that vary with every sexual experience, from day to day. Orgasm can feel like a tickle or a hiccup, but can also feel like a very heavy head rush or wave of dizziness through the whole body. Joani Blank once described it in a sex book for kids as feeling similar to when you really, really have to pee and then finally urinating. Overall, having an orgasm is a bit like being a balloon: your body fills up with pressure, then releases that pressure when it gets to its fullest point, much like a balloon does when it pops."
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I think if you have to ask, the answer is that you didn't experience an orgasm. Sounds like you did experience arousal. Basically, don't stop doing what feels good. I think some women have trouble because they are told to 'relax' when in fact it can be helpful to include some contraction type movements to help you up and over the edge.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm#In_females has some discussion about this.
I think if you continue to try to explore your own sexual response, armed with the knowledge of the various stages of your sexual response, you'll figure it out soon enough.
Please be sure to let him know what feels good to you, and what does not. Lots of guys watch porn and get some pretty inane ideas of what is really arousing to a woman. They think jabbing a finger or fingers into the vagina is going to feel good; it can, but most often, they ignore that lovely delightful structure called the clitoris.
You could spend time by yourself, figuring out what feels good and use sex toys, if they help or feel good. Don't use them if you feel uncomfortable or uneasy about them. I found trying a handheld massager to be very enlightening, back when I was trying to figure out what an orgasm felt like myself.
One thing to keep in mind: most women reach orgasm through oral or manual stimulation. Very few reach it through penetrative intercourse alone. So use that happy little clitoris, okay?
Have fun, be safe and don't hesitate to let him know what feels good!
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (23 May 2013):
Im not a woman, but my first guess here is if you have to ask, it didnt happen....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2013): Honestly, the best way to find out what a real orgasm feels like and where it feels best to be stimulated is to masturbate in private to learn about your body. That might make you feel uncomfortable, but when you start rubbing around down there, you are going to feel a sensation, and yes, it might begin to be similar like having to pee, but when you hit a certain spot the sensation will increase and will be very different then having to pee. You will likely notice you are getting very wet as well, which is great lubricant for self-stimulation and of course intercourse. A orgasm will build to the point that your body will respond. You might flinch, you might have a shutter, but it will stand out. Your chest and face (or whole body) may get flushed and the orgasm could last for a few seconds to maybe 10-15 depending on how weak or strong it is. You will have a feeling of content and slight temporary fatigue after it passes. Not very many women are capable of having an orgasm through intercourse. You can try different positions, and with experimenting and experience it can be achieved, but seriously, most women can't. It's just for show in movies and fake porn. Most women can achieve amazing orgasms through oral or manual stimulation from your partner or yourself.
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