A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all..I have a question which i may already know the answer to but reading thru other peoples similar problems i really need to ask..I am in my mid 20's and i have been in a relationship with a girl who is 19 (im not sure age matters but hey), and the fact of the matter is i just DONT KNOW if i am happy or not.. She is blindly in love with me and can never seem to stop thinking about me and letting me know that.. I however really value my alone-time and often find myself hanging on the phone feeling like im wasting my life, and i have even come as far as saying that i dont think the relationship should continue as i dont want to hurt her by being indecisive with what i want.. but the fact is that when i did that she cried so hard and made me feel so guilty i just said the relationship can continue and that we shall "see what happens.." even though if it didnt hurt her i would probably have her as a friend, as cruel as it is i just dont find her particually attractive in the bedroom and i miss that being exciting and wonderful, the way she is feeling and im not..So i dont know quite what i want to ask, perhaps your opinions on what i should do.. im certainly not scared to be alone (i have made this extrememly clear),perhaps im just not "in to" it?Anyway thanks all and i await your hasty reply!x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Xstefx +, writes (21 June 2007):
 hi,
i know your problem all to well, well not me personally but a friend i know. what you could considor honey, is gently telling her, it would be better if you wernt together instead of hurting with being in a relationship thats a lie. yer she'll be really really hurt, but she in a way has hurt you by making you feel guilty. you should do what you think is right, what not others around you think. yes i agree, if she generally loves you she will want to be friends with you, but if thats all you want then let it be. it never hurts to be alone either, you can sort things through in you head, as to what you truly want. i know your probly confused, but you dont need to be alone in all of this, it helps to talk about your problems.
take care sweetie xxxxxx
A
female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (20 June 2007):
 I have been in a similar situation. With me, I went from not knowing how I felt, to knowing I didnt want to be in the relationship anymore but having committed so much (i.e. living together) it was harder. I think you know you need to just be honnest and finish things. Its not fair on her for her to think things are good when theyre not. Then you'l be in a better position to decide what you want from your life. I hope things work out for you, Take care xxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Your right age does not matter, but what does is the fact you are not happy in this relationship, if you are not scared of being alone then just do it and yes she is going to be upset and try and make you feel guilty but just explain to her it's better this way and would she rather you continue to lie to her just for her sake you deserve to be happy as well.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Ask your girlfriend maybe to back off a little. I know me and my partner both like our time apart as much as we love spending time together.
If you really don't feel happy then end it with her but dont get back with her because she cries and makes you feel guilty.
xxxxx
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