A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, when I met this girl she had just broken up with her long term boyfriend but I was't aware of this, we then went on to have the most amazing 3 months together, then she began going back and forth breaking up with me to be with the ex and then doing the same to the ex to be me, then the ex proposed then she broke up with me to marry him, six months down the line now she calls me trying to get back into my life, I really still love her a lot but I don't know what to do I've never felt this way about anyone before, Im tired of dating people I don't care about. I don't know if I'll ever get over her and will I love someone else as much and will we have what this girl and myself had. I want to get back together with her but I don't know, Life's shot ryt? Well maybe I should take my chances, maybe she has sorted herself out and knows what she wants, maybe, I need help with this one.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): You have to respect your own feelings and if she really cared for you she would respect them too. I think you need to take some time out as i believe you like her for all the wrong reasons. I think before meeting her you were quite lonely and her intitial interest in you was a much needed boost to your self-esteem. This woman is wrong for you, she appears to be incredibly shallow in her behaviour towards you and her ex and i suspect that you're the kind of guy that likes the idea of romance. Don't be used and have the confidence to tell her where to go. She is calling you because she is king male attention and she knows that you're waiting. There are plenty more fish in the sea and you need to start fishing. I guarantee that if you open your mind to the possibility of finding love with someone else you will find someone more worthy of your affection. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Life's too short for this BS, dear. You are thinking about going back to a woman who has dumped you countless times. The best thing you can do is practice some pride, self-love and respect yourself enough to to say no. Whenever she comes back in your life...it starts the vicious cycle of joy, happiness barreling down to pain, grief and loss for you after she walks away again! Quit putting yourself through that. Take care of you, put yourself first. Think rationally and be strong. She loves to rebound and you have a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship going on and you are 'feeding' her dependency. She has a poor track record. What amazes me is how she can just 'click you off' and go back to the ex...over and over again. That is not love, hun....you have to see that. You just don't 'disconnect' from someone you love and walk out the door. Learn from your past experiences with her and try to move on. Allowing yourself a final grieving period is just about the best thing you can do. Reading your posting, it seems to me that intimacy does matter to you, shared experiences, time together. And I imagine hearing that you should lose contact with her, and that this is NOT a healthy relationship for you is very hard. I don't know--perhaps you fear your own ability to attract new, better partners. They are out there but dating is tough and meeting a new partner takes time, to assess and select another good person for you. Maybe you are indeed very lonely and having her come back, soothes that lonliness and that 'need' to be wanted. Maybe you have to work hard on yourself and come to the realization, you can do better and deserve better. The right girl is out there, but you won't find her...'pining' away for this bad apple. Tell her to take a hike. She playing with you and look at all the time and emotional energy you are wasting. Call up your friends and get out and live life to the fullest.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): it sound like shes trying to have the best of both worlds. You should stop talking to her change numbers move on, find someone who will want to be with you uconditionally.
i was madly in love with my ex, im not anymore. you will get over her it'll just take time. I wish i could say to you its easy or that you will one day be able to never think about her, but id be lying. You will just oneday be able to look back and realise the truth about it all, something hard to do when in tise kind of present situation.
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (5 May 2008):
She has no respect for you if she keeps doing this. This isnt fair on you or the other man in her life, you deserve better.
It seems she knows you care for her and that you will welcome her back into your life whenever she wants.
If you truly feel that she is the one and that she has changed her behaviour then give it some time before you let her back into your life.
This will give you time to think and make sure she is right for you. It will also show her that you arent willing to put up with her past behaviour.
As you say, life is short and its too short to waste time waiting for someone who wont stay around.
Good luck
xxx
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (5 May 2008):
 You may feel like you will never feel the same love again but chances are you will better it. On the other hand if you feel she is the ONE and she is offering more you may have to try it out and see if it will work. She is obviously not happy but may not know what she wants. Only you can decide in this case if it is worth another shot. Good luck x
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