A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have reached a point where I am at a lost and I don't know if I should continue this relationship. Well, I agree that he's having serious money problems as he has borrowed money from the bank as well as from friends that he cannot repay. All his problems are the result of his own bad decisions. He was employed in the Government Sector but quitted his job for a reason still unclear to me. So, he's now jobless with more than $ 10 000 debt. He is so worried and overwhelmed that now he barely keeps in touch with me. Last time, I told him that my mum was very ill and I expected him to at least ask me about my mum but he never did. I don't know if I should have the patience and show my understanding or just stop this relationship. It has always been about him. When he wants, he would keep in touch and when things are tough, he just keep his distance and get lost in another world. I told him but he said that I should not think that he's ignoring me. But the fact that he did not even ask about my mother's health really bothers me. Today, I can say we have no relationship at all.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 A message a day does not mean love. it means he's good at sending messages.
OP I always have you on my mind....every second of the day I think of you..... I love you... I miss you. I'm so sorry I have not let you know this...
my words mean as much as his.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 OP, good for you if you stick to this decision and this time follow the Aunts' advice. You seem to be very perturbed by his coldness and silence, but, if this is the same guy of your previous posts, even being more affectionate would not make him less of a shady character . If it's the same guy, he is a guy who repeatedly " borrowed " money from you without ever giving it back,mooched off you without a care in the world when he was visiting you,well knowing you could not afford it, tried his best to involve you in his obscure , dubious money deals. Had he been writing you love sonnets better than Shakespeare's , that would not make him less dangerous to you.
We may debate , with different opinions, if true love is shown by keeping in touch daily or weekly or when, - but I think that everybody would agree that when somebody tries his damnedest best to suck you dry financially, it's not a great proof of love.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for your answers. Sincerely, u have all helped me very much. I'm going to take your advice. In fact, i texted him after 3 days of total silence. He told me that it's true he should at least send me a msg eveyday but if does not do it, this does not mean that he don't love me. He always have me on his mind. But honestly, as u said he's a very selfish person who has only one God: Himself. When u have a relationship u have to do wat it takes to nurture it
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 February 2013):
he quit a good government job just because he wanted to? with money issues....
He's self-absorbed and selfish.
I would not do anything to further the relationship... when he contacts you I would be very cool and basically just stop rowing the boat with him....
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 I've known people who, literally dying of cancer, still express interest in those around them and inquire about their well being.
He's got money problems because he focussed only on himself and the short term. He didn't develope those habits afterward.
If I were you, I would leave him and run like my backside was on fire. Run and don't look back. You're fortunate in that right now his problems are HIS problems. The longer you stay with him and the more involved you become, the more those problems will become your problems as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): How do you feel about him because right now your being neglected and this probably wont change until he gets his money problems sorted out and that would mean being very patient. So if your feelings aren't very strong and you feel that you can't wait that long then you should leave him
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 HI
I understand your frustration, however If he didn't care he would be bothering you with all his problems without a thought for you. In this case he stays away when he is feeling low or maybe even ashamed of the way his life has turned and maybe don't want you to feel down with him because of his mood. Also if he is under a lot of stress and in so much debt i'm afraid to say he wont of thought about your mothers health, when your low and depressed and your life is upside down you don't think of much else other than what the hell are you going to do next. If you decide you can't cope with this then I would suggest you end things on good terms, maybe say you need time out to think, it could be this that gives him the kick up the ass to turn his life around for the better, and maybe it will make your relationship stronger after this.
Good luck
Mandy x
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