A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello!Well, here it goes: some time ago I met an incredible guy and since the first moment I saw him I knew I would end up with him (basic instict!). That very day we started flirting, but at some point I was literally forced by him to confess how much I liked him (huge mistake, I know). Then he had just broken up with his long-time girlfriend and just wanted to have fun, so we had a big argue and stopped talking to each other. But after a month of not knowing antyhing from him, just when I have started seeing another guy, he reappeared in my life and I couldn't resist him anymore... I have slept with him lots of times since then. The chemistry between us at all levels couldn't be better, but I'm terribly confused because I don't know what he wants: he acts like if he loves me (or at least like if he cares about me), but I'm very suspicious about it and I often feel bad thinking that he's only interested in the sex.I address him "my Mr. Big", like the Mr. Big from SATC (they're just the same!!). On the contrary, the other guy I'm seeing is just like Aidan. "Mr. Big" is my man, although I'm not very sure about being able to tame him. SATC is a TV serie, after all.
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female
reader, LostInMyself  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Carrie was pathetic, and always following the stereotype that girls are the bad boy's doormat and that they can control them like dolls.
If you like the sex, and is just lust go ahead.
If you want something more, just stop giving him sex and see what he does, or if he really cares for you or he is jsut for you for your "kittie". Just because you have sex and have fun does not mean you can have a serious relationship.
If you think you wont be able to handle your emotions then I suggest you get away from him, if he feels the same he will come to you, and open himself to you. If he gets upset for not getting sex, or just becomes uninterested in you because you stop giving him sex... then that is the way its meant to be and he never saw you as something serious.
About Aidan.. I think he deserves more than pity love, he clearly does not fulfill your needs or gives you complete happiness because you are still hung up in Mr.big. Being with someone because he is s "safe" choice doesn't really seem good, would you like someone picking you over someone that drives them wild just because you are a safer choice? That is like being "plato de segunda mano" (second rated dish)
If Mr.Big just cares about sex, leave.Dont let your emotions get entangled any more. If Aidan just doesnt really drive you wild and its just safe choice...leave him. It is not fair to him, to be with someone that will always think about someone else.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 First off Sex in the City is a fictional show a great one at that. Carrie Bradshaw happened to be a pathetic woman who kept throwing herself at the bad boy who kept toying her around for 10 years. Who in the world would wait for a man that long? Meanwhile she passes up Aidan who is the ideal man that women would kill to have.
Now in your situation, your Mr. Big just wants fun he doesn't want a serious committed relationship. Ie he just wants sex and you are already aware of that. Then on the other hand you have Aidan who you don't say to much about because your emotions are wrapped up in the sexual encounters you have with enticing Mr. Big. Just because he has sex with you doesn't mean he's into you. I suggest you cut off ties with him before your emotions run any deeper.
Make your own ending, but choose wisely. In which the wise choice is Aidan.
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