A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been having an affair at work with this man. I am extremely attracted to him and can't get him put of my head. Everybody found out about us at work. His girlfriend also works in the same place she is the only one that does not know. i had to sit in the office and deny to my manager that we had an affair. Anyway i stopped speaking to him licily we worked in a school and had holidays off. he got married and lots of people from work went to the wedding. Anyway we are back at work now and we have been placed in the same class. I tried to stay mad at him but i cant. We don't talk about what happened or the wedding or his wife. We still laugh and look at each other and i can't stop thinking about him. I am in love with him. Before he got married he was saying he didnt want to and how i was the right person for him. he didnt back this up by actions. i dont know if he is a complete liar or not. i am so confused
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affair, at work, liar, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hi,
He's a liar..... But, I don't think that matters anymore... He's married...sorry that you are hurt.... Next time you meet someone make sure he's single and available. Don't waste your time thinking about him, he's moved on and has his own family now. Be strong, forget about him, and find someone that truly deserves you, won't lie to you and will appreciate you...
Good luck/best wishes
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Let's clear up the confusion. What is the end result of your affair with this man? He married the woman he was cheating on with you and he is no longer sleeping with you, correct? He may have said that you're the one for him, that he doesn't want to marry her, but those are all just words. Women tend to get caught up in the words and wonder about the discrepancy between a man's words and his actions. It something that takes years to sink in, but it's really, really simple: if a man's words don't match his actions, he is feeding you a bunch of BS. He was lying to you, so yes, he is a lair.
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A
female
reader, softsyrup +, writes (12 December 2011):
One of my friends was in a very similar situation with a guy at our work. He was delighted with the situation, he had a long term gf to offer him support and a relationship and then a bit of stuff on the side when he was feeling horny.
This guy is the only one that getting any benefit from the situation. If he wanted to be with you then we would be... And unfortunately, he can't see how great you are because he's not.
Maybe he's not a complete liar, but he's not worth your time. Forget him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): What's so confusing? Cheating is lying ergo he is a liar.
You're wondering if he specifically is lying to you? Really? If his own wife can't trust him then what chance does his easy bit on the side have?
OP the answer you seek is in your question.
"having an affair"
"he didnt back this up by actions"
I really don't see the confusion, then again I'm not a 30 something that would prefer to believe a cheating liar in the hope that the blatant and very obvious reality is wrong.
Seriously do you not see it, or you do but just really hope you're wrong? If it's the latter OP then you have your answer, every single person here will tell you that.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 Oh, and, by the way, he's now a married man. Meaning off-limits.
Can you ask for a transfer? I think it would be easiest on everyone, specially the wife.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (11 December 2011):
I wonder what your reason was to deny you had an affair with this man. I also wonder if he got engaged and married after you stopped talking to him. If that is the case, then he may have done it simply because you weren't talking to him and he wanted somebody. He does not need to be a liar.
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