A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. In the first few weeks, we had 2 minor communication mishaps, but it's generally been smooth sailing. My friends and family like him, and his like me. It's the first healthy relationship I've had in a while, and it's also the happiest I've been too.I have a history of anxiety, and am working with a counselor. It seems that occasionally my anxiety will flare up, especially after we have a great date. When this happens, I tend to psychoanalyze everything that happened on the date and look for problems. Last night we had a great night, and it's like I'm so uncomfortable/not used to things being good that I look for issues to overanalyze i.e. Should he have paid for that one drink I bought when he was in the bathroom? Does he hate giving oral? Why did he check his phone twice?It's irrational, random stuff that changes each time I have an anxious episode. It's like I don't know how to just relax and be content without overanalyzing every little thing. I RARELY share any of these concerns with him (to me they seem insignificant) but I guess I feel out of control and worry that something will go wrong. I'm really happy with him, and don't want either of us to do something bad that could hurt the relationship Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 February 2017):
 Social anxiety really is a horrible thing to have to deal with in your head. Remember your thoughts are your own and he does not need to hear them unless you want to share. You say you are working with a counselor at the moment, so talk to them about these episodes, as they will know you more than any off us do.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 As you are working with a counsellor it would be inappropriate for us to comment, or advise.
These are the issues you must address with your health professional.
However I can say that if you are happy dating this young man as you say then that would be something to relax with and enjoy. I don't think I would be exceeding the bounds of discretion to say that.
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