A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello thereI need help regarding a girl I was pursuing about a year ago at my university.BackgroundIn three months, we became really close and went on few dates. We were talking three four hours a day and meeting as well at campus. Then, about in fourth month I told her I'm attracted to her and want to take things to next level and see where it goes. I think my mistake was telling her that "I like her and find her attractive and want to see where this goes" She just told me she usually takes her time and told me discreetly that she usually takes a year or so but didn't say anything more really. That day and the next day when I talked to her she was really lively and excited.However in coming week, I sort of felt she was cold and distant in front of her friends and on text as well. I tried to ask her what's going on a few times and she didn't gave me a definite answer. I waited a couples of weeks and she told me she is never sure of what she wants and I think she was afraid about starting a relationship because of her previous encounter.I thought as maybe she's politely saying no so I decided to distant myself as well.(I thought if she liked me back she'd ask about me but that didn't happen not sure of her ego or disinterest) There wasn't anything really from her than maybe trying to ask for some help regarding PC once as she knew I was good with them. Maybe it was her way to get my attention or start a conversation because I was 90% the one who started conversation and if I had to leave early she'd use certain expression to make me stay longer. So I started ignoring her to keep my respect as she wasn't as lively to see as before. In following months even if we met in person, we would just ignore each other and walk away. The most would be pretending to smile if our eyes met.No hi or waving.Now: I ran into her a month ago but it was for about a minute or less to ask about how has she been. We used to exchange smiles if we ever ran into each other in coming weeks. Then about two weeks ago, we ran into each other and she started asking what I'm up to and how I have been and we ended up talking for an hour straight while standing at the same spot. She got more lively when she sees me and starting waving at me like before. We have started to text again and she's asking to wish her luck in her exam and such things. I am confused and I don't know what to make of this all. Is she just trying to be friends or anything more and I don't want to waste my time over nothing because I can't be just friends with her because of our history together.Or is she just immature and doesn't know what she's doing ? Help !!
View related questions:
her ex, immature, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 December 2014):
 The kind of response you want to, "I find you attractive and want to take things to the next level." is "thank you I think you are attractive too." Anything less than that is a no. She's had a year. Maybe she's wanting to see if in a year's time the attraction would develop. If she's afraid of hurting you and being direct this is the time to ask her, is she attracted to you? There goes your answer.
|
