A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. He is the first guy I've ever had sex with. He told me he loved me pretty soon after we started dating. And we both sort of agree on not saying it often because we want it to be special. But the last few times I've said it he hasn't said it back. And I'm starting to feel like he doesn't appreciate me. He says he has plenty of time for us, but he never calls to hang out. I am always the one having to make an effort. I call him to make plans and hang out. And practically have to beg him to sleep over. We've also stopped having sex. He'll mess around and still want blow-jobs but not sex. It's starting to become really frustrating. I've talked to him about feeling like I'm the only one whose making the effort and he says he understands what I'm saying but so far nothing has changed. I don't know how to make him appreciate me and make him put more effort into our relationship. I love him so much and he's talked about "if" we get married and made plans for a year down the road however talk isn't good enough I want him to SHOW me.
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female
reader, sdwwcc11 +, writes (20 October 2008):
You need to give him a little space, and you should go out and have fun with your friends or do anything to get your mind off of him for a few days. Don't call him or anything, let him be the one. You have to show him that he also needs to put effort forth into the relationship, he shouldn't expect you to do it all.Trying to not show that you care is VERY hard. Believe me, I know. I am in the same situation as far as the whole explaining of the feelings, and hoping for change goes, so I totally understand. Good luck, I hope this all works out for you!
A
female
reader, porkchop.xo  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Firstly, If you aren`t getting satisfied physically DO NOT satisfy him anymore! If he doesn`t want to hang out and is not calling you, stop calling him, I know it seems hard but call up your girlfriends/ guyfriends and go out with them. I understand you want to be with him I've been there and I still am there. Until he starts making an effort, you should stop, it sounds harsh, and difficult to do and believe me it is! He needs to realize that you need him to pull his weight in this relationship, it takes two.
Also I think it was his decision to not say "I love you" all the time. I think partly that is because he may have said it on the spur of the moment without thinking, and maybe now he is realizing that "I love you" means a lot and maybe he's not ready for that. I'm not saying he doesn't have strong feelings for you, I am only suggesting that he might have said those three words too soon.
Anyways I suggest you wait for him to call you, and when he asks why you don't call anymore,tell him you got tired of always making the effort and figured if he wanted to see you, he would make the effort for a change.
Good luck, hope he smartens up! :)
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