A
female
age
22-25,
*ercretive
writes:Hi again guys. Actually, I'm so troubled right now. It's about on not fighting back. I mean, I wasn't being bullied or something. It's just that everytime there are people who gossips about me or asking me for a fight I decline. It's not that I'm a coward or something, it's just that I can't fight back because I just can't. My mind keeps on telling me to teach them a lesson but my heart keeps on whispering that "Just leave them alone. Don't let them bother you." I'm even afraid of using my pride/ego. Can you help me?
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female
reader, Sercretive +, writes (9 December 2016):
Sercretive is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes! That's what I've been trying to do. I just ignore them because I know that I can win without a war. Plus, I always keep thinking about myself that all will be well :). Thanks for the advice guys. I truly appreciate it :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 I think there are times where standing up for yourself and "putting" someone" in their place is appropriate, but the timing can be hard.
If people gossip about you, there really isn't anything you can do to make them stop - other than ignoring them. If they find that the gossip doesn't affect you (and yes, you might have to "fake" that part) they will move on to "easier" targets. And really.... Gossip ONLY reflect BADLY on those spreading it. SO don't be a gossip yourself if you don't like being gossiped about. THAT is always a good start. If a friend starts telling you gossip, just tell them you don't think gossip is kind or beneficial for anyone and change the subject.
Your heart is in the right place. THAT is why "it" chooses the SMART path of "leaving" them alone. It keeps you out of major drama.
I agree with WiseOwlE, someone who can hold back, keep her chin up high and IGNORE the fools IS the stronger person. And YES! if they go out of their way to hurt or bully you (with words or deeds) TELL an adult, be it a teacher or your parents.
I was bullied in school because I was in advanced classes with older kids. They would want to beat me up on the way home from school EVERY day. The first couple of weeks I fought anyone who tried, lost some, won some. But when my older brother found out he stood up for me and I was left in peace (except a few dumb bullies who my brother told me to just ignore and he was right... they HATED being ignored but they found that when they couldn't push me around or bully me with words/deeds that they might as well leave me be.
Keep your cool. And keep a journal for when you feel like blowing your top. However, don't let people mistreat you if you can't solve the problem yourself, ASK an adult for help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): Unless you are physically threatened, words can't hurt you. Gossip is fueled through jealousy, weak-mindedness, and most often stupidity. You can't challenge people for everything they say; but you can stand-up for your rights under actual threat.
Teenage gossip is going to happen, as long as you're in the age-group. I give you kudos. You've handled it like an adult; because you didn't give them the benefit of letting them see it hurt you. Although I am sure it has.
Stand strong, and ignore it. Tit for tat only breeds more of the same. It becomes a battle that spins out of control. It's giving power to the gossiper, and showing you can be weakened by it.
If you are actually bullied; or feel you are physically and psychologically under threat. Immediately get the assistance of adults. Alert your parents, and hide the fear as best you can. Kids are relentless and will gang-up. Cowards don't fight fair; so sometimes you have to get backup. You still have to be tough. Not always flying-off at the mouth.
If you can hold back and ignore them; you're stronger than they are. If they go out of their way, report it to school authorities and your parents. Never be afraid to do that.
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A
female
reader, EnvyLawliet  +, writes (8 December 2016):
Hello, I experienced something similar myself. In my situation I found the best combat was humour, people will always pick fun at others and sometimes the best way to combat it is just to laugh at them. Remember that those who pick on others and hurt others usually do so because they themselves are troubled or have nothing better to do. If you show that its not hurting you they will eventually loose interest. Additionally, watch a few comedians, this helped me. Get an idea of a few comebacks. If you one-up them, they'll leave you alone. Although some would say this would make you worse. If it effects you badly then it can be the best way to fight back at them. Give it a try. And remember you are better than anyone who would hurt you.
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