A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went out with some girlfriends to a bar a lot of army guys frequent; my friends really wanted to know what it was like to be with (i.e. sleep with) a military man. i wasn't so much into it because they kind of creep me out. but because i know my friends, i knew that if i didn't do this one thing, (go with them to the bar, not sleep with a soldier) they would make me do something even crazier and stupider in the future to make up for that. and since i don't always join in on the kind of reckless things they like to do (reckless to me), i thought that this one thing wouldn't be such a big deal.so i went.and at the bar while my two friends were flirting with army guys, this guy approached me. don't get me wrong he was HOT!!!!! honest to god. but the fact that he is in the army creeps me out. so i just smiled and nodded a lot while he talked with me. i realised after a while that he wasn't that scary so we engaged in conversation and went off in a private corner and just chatted. he knew i wasn't looking for a hook up -apparently soldiers can see the difference between girls who just want to bang a guy in the army and those who are just there to be there, something like that.i confirmed that i indeed wasn't looking to hook up with anyone, so we just talked. at the end of the night both my friends were gone with their guys and i took a cab home. when he asked for my number, i hesitated but gave it anyway. i mean, i chatted with him for three hours, it wouldn't have hurt to give him my number. the very next day, he called me and told me that he really liked me and wanted to see it go furhter. i was shocked. no guy has ever been this straightforward with me before. and certainly not after having just met me.so i just said, 'okayyyyyy....' (you know? in that really uncomfortable way?) he then proceeded to ask me out on an official date for when we were both free. i said, i would get back to him on that.i mean, as hot as he is, it isn't everything, and he is a nice guy but it's the 'army' thing that blocks me. he has such an authoritative way of talking, literally like you would expect a soldier to talk, straight to the point, no pussyfooting. it's a bit intimidating. my friends think i should give it a go. i'm kind of on the fence about it. it's been three weeks and we've talked just about every second day. he's really nice, a bit closed off, but interesting...and intimidating.i still haven't given him an answer about a date. i think he knows why i'm being so indecisive about this. he's proven himself to be very observant and intuitive. and that only adds on to his 'overwhelming' presence.some advice please!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Being an ARMY wife of 14 years your post kind of cracked me up. Army guys are no "wilder" then you average guy - though I have know some crazy Scouts and SF, but that is a whole other story.
I have to say you seem to have a odd notion of what it is to be a soldier. They are not cut from cookie cutters. They are not all the same, nor do they all behave the same way. I think this guy's personality is WHO he is, Army or not.
Being with a soldier is not easy, they answer to the Army first and the GF/Fiance/Wife comes second. THAT is just how it is. Contact can be sporadic, work hours can be ridiculous, plan can be broke in a heartbeat due to duty.
The thing you have to consider is, if it turns into something more serious, what would you do if he got deployed? If he got orders to another post? They CAN NOT chose (at least not 100% of the time) what post they will work at or for how long. He can get sent to Korea, Japan, Germany, England, Netherlands..... and so forth. As a GF you have absolutely NO right in the eyes of the ARMY, you can't "just" move with him. That would take being married.
If you are AS apprehensive about the military as you indicate in your post, I honestly think you need to let him down gently. No one should string ANYONE along.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): okay, unless he's really creepy, which doesn't seem to be the case I would give him a chance, and if he's not bad on the eyes, even better. I'm sorry If I sound shallow, but truth to be told you guys just met , so maybe you could give it a go and see what he's really like
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (2 October 2012):
Honestly, what is it about the army that you find "creepy"? Soldiers are people just like everyone else. Seems like you're so caught up in this image/stereotype you have you actually let it stand in the way of having an enjoyable time with a person. Let's be honest here: what do you really know what it's like to be in the army? Nothing.
If he's straightforward, observant and intuitive now, he most likely also was like this before he joined the army.
Give the guy a fair shot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): Just go for it what have you got to lose?As you said he hot,straight to the point AND hes nice what more could you want?I know the army sounds almost scary to some people (I have two friends in the army AND I cried my eyes out when they joined up because I so scared they'd be killed.) But I noticed how much structure AND discipline it gave them in their life AND that made me feel alot better.
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