A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, real quick- I am not antisocial, just don't know how to be social? I guess, it takes a certain kind of person to vibe with that doesn't make me feel like im playing along in a game to be apart of a conversation.So it is my sophomore year in college and I am more stress free about making friendships this year than last. It seems to be working, because I have made a friend already! We are both in the same major and have at least one class a day with each other, haha. However, I lack social skills to the extent that I don't know how to entertain...I want to be able to invite people over and feel comfortable knowing when they come over, itll be a good time. I just don't know what to do when someone is over.Sure, I have friends that I have known all my life and when we hang, it is alright to just hang, talk, maybe go to the mall. But with people I am just getting to its just weird... Why? I can't explain it, it just is!So my question is what do you do to get to know someone better? How do you entertain guests at your home? Especially the first few times? And any tips to help me gain more confidence in attracting more friendships. I am not looking for countless number of friends, but life is kind of lonely here at school, in my apartment, and I feel like I dont know how to make friends, or have friends to share certain interests in!_________________________________On another but similar note, there is this boy I work with. The situation is something like this. He likes that I show curiosity and intrigue over him, he likes the way I am watching him and act shy with his jokes. And he likes to feed my curiosity. I like that he likes this. I don't think we know if we really like each other or not, but there is just something in the air between us that is sort of interested to see where it will go. Neither of us are pushing a paste, just its fun to work on the same shift. And when we do, I usually now give him a life, otherwise he will walk. You may think this is him using me, but it really doesn't bother me. I'm totally content if we remain friends, but I like to see hwo far the bounds really are.Anyways, I dropped him off this morning, I didn't have work. He said "Maybe I will see you later? Text me, see whats up". I don't if he was just being casual, doesn't really think we will hang out, just saying that to end it on a good note seeing as i woke up at 6am to drive him to work when I wasnt even going in, lol. (I was awake anyways, work isnt that far just much faster by car, so no, i dont like him more than im leading on, i would do things like that for anyone that i see as a good person and is good to me =)) So Anyways, I want to text him later tonight after my shift and 'see whats up'. I don't know how to approach this, how to see if he wants to hang out, bc what if he doesnt I will feel lame and if he does, what do we do? how do i entertain him if I invite him over to my place?I think this is long enough, any advice would be great, thank you!
View related questions:
confidence, I work with, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): When trying to entertain people at your place, make plans. Invite someone over *for* something. "Do you want to come over and (insert favorite activity)." Include people in what you already do and already like. Find a study friend to do homework with, etc. Some of these friendships will grow as you spend more time together, some will not. But you will get to know more people. Find people who like what you like. Then whenever you are doing that you have a friend to do it with. Everyone may not accept your invitations, whatever. Sometimes multiple people will, and a group will form. Having a common interest first make doing things together easier. Sometimes the interest will disappear and the friendship will too, but maybe it will be revived at some future time. Lots of these types of friends are transient, but it gives a chance for deeper friendship to develop, and for you find people worth developing deep bonds with.
As for the guy, ask him what he likes. If any of those things you are already interested in, ask him to come do that with you. If something he says sounds like something you might be interested in, ask him to invite you sometime when he is doing that. Best of luck.
|
