A
female
age
36-40,
*izbeckyz0818
writes:Long story short, I like this guy that is a few years younger than me and that I have known for the past few months. We went out once years ago and liked each other. We would have still been seeing each other if I hadn't moved away. Four years later, I am single and happen to see this guy going to my church. We have been talking for the past few months and I felt that he liked me since he kept looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking and other little things like that. I didn't want to wait for him to ask me out since I felt that I was going to be waiting forever so I asked him out instead. He was amused when I asked him, but said that he couldn't go because he had other plans and so scheduled it for the following weekend. When I reminded him of our plans, he asked me for my number and said that he would call me if he could go because his family had plans for Labor Day weekend. Well, he called two hours after he said he would to tell me that he couldn't go with me and we ended up texting each other the entire weekend. I saw him again on Sunday and he and I talked and goofed around a bit. I texted him to see if he was going to be busy since I had some free time and he texted me back saying that he couldn't because he was at his sister's house so I asked him if he had plans for Labor Day. When he said he didn't, I asked if he could hang out with me in the evening. He texted me back and said that it was fine, but that he would call me to let me know. I don't like being given maybe as an answer so I texted him back and asked him if he really wanted to go with me or not because I didn't want him to go if he didn't want to. He replied back and said that it probably wasn't a good idea to go with me then because, and I quote him, "one thing could lead to another" and was afraid that since he was a guy and I'm a girl that people would suspect something and judge us, to which I replied that I am a person that doesn't care what people think about me and that since people are going to judge anyway, that I lived my life based on what I thought was right and not what others felt I should live my life like. Well, he responded that he felt that there would be complications and drama and that he was trying to avoid it. So I replied that if he thought that I was a complication, that maybe he was right but that I didn't agree with it. He didn't text me back and I left it at that. My problem now is how do I act around him when I know that I'm going to still be seeing him at church a couple of times a week? If he didn't want anything to do with me, why did he carry on with me like he did instead of being honest? I would have much preferred the honesty instead of wasting my time asking someone who didn't want to hang out with me.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mizbeckyz0818 +, writes (26 October 2009):
mizbeckyz0818 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Update: So I decided that the best course of action was to just ignore him when I saw him and just act like nothing ever happened. Well, now he has been caught staring at me by other people in my church (which happen to be family members) and is always seen near me when i'm talking to other people. My cousin, who also goes to church with me, brought his friend to church so that he would get to know me. This guy is very nice and has already expressed his interest in me. The problem now is that the guy that I was interested in is now hanging around me even more when this new guy is talking to me. We were all eating lunch together after church and the guy I am interested in wouldn't leave the table because (in my opinion) the other guy and I were talking and sitting next to each other. He then proceeded to flirt with another girl from our church right before I left so that (again in my opinion) would see him. I am now more confused than ever. I am not sure what exactly I am to him or what it is that he wants with me. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.
A
female
reader, luckystars88 +, writes (9 September 2009):
just act normal, like nothing happened. if you act awkward or like he bothers you then that will just create issues and make both of you uncomfortable. carry on with your regular day or activities and try dating someone else. if he truly does like you and is just scared then he will eventually make the move. if not then someone else will be more worth your time. im not sure what he'd mean about it looks weird? whats weird about people hanging out? isnt that what friendships or relationships are about? hmm... anyway. just act like your regular self and if it works it does if not then oh well. dont let him see if your upset tho. it makes things awkward.
...............................
|
