A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been togethere 4 a yr we r verry happy together and we r very open with each other its really nice. well at the moment my boyfriend is in a big financial crisis hes on the brink of loosing evrything he ever built and its a huge loss 4 him cause he started from scratch from nothing. he needs a certain amount of money 4 monday or everything will go downhill. i wish i had the money to lend it to him. he never asked and never excpects it from me, but i wish i could i havnt seen him 4 weeks since we dont live in the same area and he doesnt have a car anymore and i dont have a car and i am feeling guilty. when i was going through a rough patch in my life he was there 4 me 24 7 he would come to me no questions asked i could phone him in the middle of the night and he would come or just speak to me and sooth me through the phone. and i feel upset and frustrated that i cant do that for him is there anything i can do? i feel so helpless
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 The best thing you can do is support him when he falls, for that he will appreciate you so much. Funny how love, something that is free, can do wonderful things. Money is just an object invented by some people thousands o yets ago ... People still survived without it. Although it's nice to have more of it in this day and age. As long as you are both happy with each other that's the best thing you've got ... Each other.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 It's okay that you don't have money to lend him, and he shouldn't expect you to help him out financially either. I think you are feeling helpless, because you want to help, and you think if only you had the money you could lift the burdens off of his shoulders. But that's not correct. Even if you did have the money, his business (or whatever it is that is going downhill) would still be suffering financially, it wouldn't be able to support itself, and on top of all other issues he would owe you money!
Besides, if his business is a good investment he could get a loan from a bank. If you lent him money you would probably never see that money again. And you can't afford to lend it, then you surely can't afford to give it away.
But aside from the money-issue, I think you are just looking for anything you can do to help him, and money is all you can think of. I suggest that you help him in other ways. By supporting him, even if you aren't there in person, you can talk to him over the phone. Hear him out, be someone he can talk to when things get rough, offer advice and support. That is the most helpful thing. Let him know how much you care and feel for him, that will help him too.
Whatever it is he looses, it is only materialistic. Things can be gained, lost, and gained again. Support him when he falls, and he will be able to build himself up again.
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