A
female
age
36-40,
*z*
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years.We've always had a very strong friendship but we no longer seem like a couple and haven't slept together in 5 months. A few months ago while on a work night out his friend(who is also a friend of mine and who i've liked for a awhile)kissed me.He told me how much he likes me and how he doesnt think my boyfriend appreciaites me. Since that night we've kissed a few more times and now have a "relationship" through texting. We've never slept together but i would like to. 2 of my closest friends suspect something is going on but i tell them we're just friends.I know what im doing is wrong. I dont think i have strong feelings for my boyfriend anymore.. Help, i dont know what to do...
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female
reader, *z* +, writes (11 August 2009):
*z* is verified as being by the original poster of the questionQuick update guys, Ive been invited to a 21st on saturday nite.The girl who's birthday it is, is a cousin of j,the guy im textin.She's having a party in her house and i will be staying over there for the night.I know
j's goin to be there and my boyfriend wont because he's goin away with work for the weekend...Im nervous now!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): thanks for the advice guys.Its more complicated because we live together,but not in our home town.2 years ago we moved away for work.we both live about 2 and a half hours from home so i depend on him alot as a friend.
Thanks again for the advice.Ill let ye knoe how things go.
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A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (10 August 2009):
Tell your boyfriend that you think the relationship is going nowhere and you want out. Do NOT tell your boyfriend's friend beforehand as this will only complicate the situation. About two months later, after it's clear to everyone that you and your boyfriend are no longer together, you can call your boyfriend's friend and ask him if he's still interested in you.I REPEAT: Do not tell your boyfriend's friend that you plan to break up with his friend, and do not speak to him until at least a couple of months after the break-up dust has settled. Leaving the friend guessing what you're up to is a good thing and will make you more desirable if he really likes you. Be strong and wait it out. The timing is critical here.Jumping in the sack with your boyfriend's friend too soon after the break-up will be like twisting the knife in his heart several times more for fun. This will likely re-awaken his friend's loyalty and earn you a great deal of contempt.
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A
female
reader, bubble_gum101  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 I've been through thee same thing dont worry. Well if u and ur bf aren't as close then y dont u think abt juzt breaking up orr taking a break? And try and see how things go with ur other friend but think twice dont do something ur gona regret and if ur sure it wont ruin ur friendship. If this other guy treats u better then y waste ur time on ur bf? Srry, but yea try things out wit this guy and if not be fwb wit him :p hope this helped??
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