A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i recently told the man i've been sleeping with that my son passed away and after a week of not hearing from him i blasted him for being so cold hearted to a person that had been nothing but good to him. not to mention at the same time there was another women in his house that was answering his phone and when i called she was rude to me. hanging the phone up etc.i told him about that too.Since then i have heard from him and he did send his deepest sympathy but the sad part is that because i told him that i couldn't take someone being so cold to me at a time when i needed them i felt that i had to let the friendship go.he now feels that i hate him and never want to see him again which in all honesty is not the case. i don't hate him i dislike the behavior. the lies about other women and such. i've written back to him to explain all of this and have heard nothing. i would like to see him again if for no other reason but to clear the air. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (29 March 2008):
 If you can go on without further contact with him, this is the best thing to do. You've written the letter and he is not opening the door to communicate so as far as he's concerned, this is a closed relationship. The closure is about you making sure he knows how you feel and I think he does. So now you need to try and let it go.
The other woman? You don't know who this was, could be his mom, sister, or the other woman. You're relationship was with him and that is what you should be concerned with.
If you just can't let it go, then give him some time, a few weeks, and then try to get in touch for a cup of coffee with the only agenda to restore some civilty but NO OTHER REASON. Take it from there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): You know I wouldn't bother either. He sounds like a player to me, someone who does not care all that much about the women he sleeps with.
He had another woman in his house who hung up the phone on you, that tells me she thinks that she is in an exclusive relationship with this man, and perhaps he is telling her the same thing, so what was he doing sleeping with you, or both of you at the same time then?
His ignoring your loss for a week and not responding to you until you blasted him tells me he is insensitive at the least and a jerk at the worst.
You have nothing to clear the air about, he screwed things up, he isn't a good friend let alone lover....count yourself lucky for dodging another bullet.
Look elsewhere for friendship, companionship, and a guy who wants to give back to you, this guy is frankly a waste of your time.
I am sorry for the loss of your son, you must feel very vulnerable at this time, take care of yourself and don't allow your need for support direct you to a man with arms that won't hold you and support you with nothing but love.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Hi
I wouldn't bother. It screams of married or attached guy to be honest.
Are your instincts not telling you the same?
You cant make someone listen to you. Its his loss.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (29 March 2008):
 I don't think you can force him to respond, although I understand how you feel there is unfinished business, and that things have ended in a bad way, without him having the wrong impression of your feelings. It's a bit hard to comment on without knowing how your relationship was before you told him about the loss of your son. And how did you tell him? Was it not to his face? (sounds as if maybe not, since you didn't get a reaction from him for a week). You have written him the letter, though, which explains exactly how you feel.
It sounds to me as if he probably feels a mixture of emotions towards you, including embarrassment that he somehow let you down, and the easiest thing for him is just to have no more contact. I understand that this leaves you dangling somewhat, though. Could you not call him and talk to him? Ask him if you could just meet up for a drink as you feel upset about how things ended? Say you just want to finish things on a better note, and you're not cross with him.
Then it depends where you want the relationship to go. I have the feeling he feels 'told off' by you, and that isn't a great basis for things. I suspect he doesn't want to continue anything, but agree you need closure. Hopefully he'll be willing to give you it.
...............................
|
