A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am really confused with the way i like people. My friends they see these guys that are tall dark and muscular and they pounce on them like a cat. I on the other hand do not find those types of guys attractive. Ive always thought it was weird.I would find the tall super skiny kinda dorky guys cute. But also unlike my friends i dont try to get them. If there is a guy who is talking to me i dont seem to like them instantly like most of my friends. My friends also think this is because i am still in love with my ex of 5 months. he was my first boyfriend and i loved everything about him. unfortunately he broke up with me and i was left behind. But when i think of him my heart doesnt pound and my stomach doesnt turn. i cry. and sometimes i get a little zap in my tummy when i think of him. I also get that zap when i see a couple kiss on tv or in real life. When i was with him my heart wouldnt pound. his would. and i thought it was weird. i would get a weird feeling down there (if you catch my drift) i would crave him sexually whenever we were together. and also when he touched me my tummy zapped again. Why is it that my heart didnt pound. does that mean i can be gay? ive wondered this too because i act differently then my friends. But i dont really get attracted to girls. occasionally i have a fantasy. but i know this is totally normal.
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female
reader, red_squirrel  +, writes (26 April 2011):
Great to hear :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much both of you. i understand now. im a bit releaved that im not gay. and im going to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 People are different. That is basically it. You don't have to be gay, or have something wrong with you, just because you don't do or think every bit the same as your friends. You have a different taste in boys, nothing wrong with that. But more likely I will take my guess that you want a deeper connection before you jump at a guy like your friends. You aren't shallow, thats why looks don't bother you. You don't feel an attraction to the "hottie" because you need to know his personality to be attracted to him. This is quite common. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as you get to know a person they become more beautiful in their own unique way. This sort of attraction is built through getting to know a person, and not through appearances. As for the "in love" feeling, heart beating, and all that hysteria... sure it is fun. But it is also something that is out of your control. It is a chemical in your brain that tells you who you should breed with, to be blunt. And you can have that heart pounding feeling over a complete stranger even. So how much should you really value that? Some live and breathe for that feeling, but some value deeper relationships and true feelings of love. I'm guessing you simply belong to the latter group, someone who values the deeper connection and is not shallow.
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A
female
reader, red_squirrel +, writes (25 April 2011):
No, if you've experienced a "zap" with a man then you aren't a lesbian... you may be bi, but by the sounds of it you just have different taste than your friends. You said you find tall skinny guys cute, maybe that's your type, and maybe you just don't feel like having a boyfriend at the minute?? There's no need to rush, let your heart take the lead instead.
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