A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were going to get coffee, she canceled, had homework to do and needed extra time to do it. She has a boy friend (probably going out tonight). I told her its okay, just tell me you are free next week, she said she had family stuff, school stuff and a bunch of stuff to do and had very little me time, she asked for Friday this week. I was at work and well I was away from my computer, got back and told her that I am here for her and that I still care for her and am willing to listen. She told me "It's okay, I found another guy to talk to about this, I am doing much better now, thanks though". I was like okay, well that's good you have found a friend to talk to about this, and that you are doing better. She said "Oh its my bf's best friend, yeah I can totally have this guy if I wanted to, if I was not with my boyfriend right now". I got kinda fed up with this, I told her how I felt, being that I went through a depression a few months ago, and well I was not really myself and it took me a while to find myself again, I basically told her that and that it was not the fact she had gone and done certain things I didn't like. She didn't respond, I asked her if she was there, she said nothing and then just signed off. I asked my co-worker next to me what was that about, he said "Better that your not with her, if she feels like she can have any guy while in a relationship with another guy, says she ain't really into her current bf". Girls I am not a smart guy when it comes to girls, I just don't get post break up stuff, we have been broken up for 6 months and she has been dating her new boyfriend for 5 months. They generally want no part of me in there life, I just get a chance to move on most of the time, and I am a nice guy and caring don't get me wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Thats a bitch my man. Stay away cause you are that nice guy and you are caring and she doesnt give a damn. She seems fairly immature anyhow with her insecurity of having to think she can get any guy. Deep down women like that are insecure as Id be willing to bet they can live without a man in their life for one damn day. Shes dependent most likely. If I were you, Id shock the piss out of this woman lol and block her email, phone number, and msn. Cause all shes gonna do is rub shit in ur face and treat u like dirt. Well, act like a broom and brush her away and firmly too buddy. I dont see u being able to remian friends with her and logically it doesnt make sense either cause its not like you have a kid or pet hamster together lol. Find a good girl who meets your good qualities as the guy you are. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 November 2010):
The problem here is two-fold.
Firstly, the way your ex is treating you is like dirt. Seriously, she's not that great. This is a girl who throws a lot of what you do in your face, claims that she could have her boyfriend's best friend, finds other guys to talk to. She sounds like an attention seeker to me, or a drama queen who likes to believe men fall over themselves for her. And that leads to my second point.
Secondly, you are being too damned nice and you're becoming a doormat to this girl. You might care, but there is a line. And the line is that when you care about someone and they treat you like dirt, you cut them out. Notice how when you stood up to her she acted like a drama queen? That's because she doesn't like it that you're not rolling over like a lap dog or something. Even your co-worker said you need to steer clear of her.
In my opinion, post break up stuff should consist of this - Break Up - Goodbye - No Contact - Move on.
Staying friends, hanging around to 'care' and all that never works out for the masses, and it won't work here. This girl is trouble, and the best thing you did was stand up to her. You want to get over her, to move on and find someone a little more respectful, then cut contact. If you don't, you'll just be the doormat.
Stay nice. But don't bend over all the time.
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