A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’m a male of 26. Since I broke up with my ex of 3 years in January, I have been dating different girls with nothing serious coming of anything. However, 2 and a half month ago I got talking to a girl I had liked for a long while, she had recently came out of a long-term relationship, but we hit it off and started texting. She is 21 and beautiful. I took her out a few times and we generally had a good time, then out of the blue, after a week or so, she text saying that she liked me and enjoyed spending time together, but didn’t want a relationship. She was aware we had spent quite a bit of time together, and didn’t want it to go further. She was interested in a more casual thing. I have never had a fuck buddy before, but thought since I liked her and I wasn’t really looking for a serious relationship myself then I would give it a go. Plus with her ex still around and pursuing her I thought this was the best thing to do. This was 2 month ago, we generally saw each other 2-3 times per week, and almost every time had sex. Which was unbelievable. We got on well, and although we both understood it was a casual thing. After a short while, we were venturing out in public together, went for meals, concerts and cinemas etc. Which for majority of the time I paid for by the way. When we were together, it didn’t seem like a casual thing, we laughed and joked, and she was quite cuddly and affectionate, and when not together she text everyday, which I found odd as I didn’t expect a FB to be like that. What made it even more confusing was that, she agreed we would only see each other, and that we weren’t to see other people. Which I was happy with as I’m not that type of lad, and would hate to think I was sleeping with her and her sleeping with others.In the time I have been seeing her, I have stopped all contact with other girls and she was the only girl I was seeing. She says the same but obviously I don’t know for sure, as she has reminded me numerous times that we were just casual. Truth is I have fallen for this girl, and only last week realised I think about her most of the day. Which I am annoyed at myself for, as all the signs were there to not get involved, recently broke up and made it clear she wanted casual. But I couldn’t help it. Recently we went to see a comedian, which again I paid for, we had a great time and the way she was with me seemed like she was really starting to like me, cuddling into me, stroking my arm and stuff. Which again I didn’t expect a FB to do. After that night though, she seemed different, standoff with me, text less and didn’t really initiate conversation. Which again confused me. I seen her a few days later and although I was concerned at her being distant when I saw her I forgot all about it, she was fun, giggly and affectionate again. We had amazing sex, and afterwards she lay stroking my head. The next day though, she seemed different again. She found out another girl had asked me if I wanted to do something on my facebook. She asked if I was going to go. As confused I wanted to know where I stood with her, so asked if she would be bothered and if she was planning on dating others. Her response was not what I hoped, she said no of course she wouldn’t be bothered if I went on dates with other people, and that at the moment only creeps and idiots have asked her, but when someone she likes comes along then she is going to go off and date them. I was hurt by this, and annoyed, as clearly I like her. I felt like she was saying ill make do with you for now, until something better comes along. I was offended by this, I’m an ok looking lad, fit and healthy, and got a good job. So I decided to tell her she offended me, I was a little bit nasty and probably showed that I like her. Her response was that we should stop seeing each other and be friends. She said she wants to be single and doesn’t want to get involved. I didn’t speak to her for a few days, but then bumped into her on a night out. She came over and talked, she was exactly how she always was with me flirty, touch feely etc. As I was drunk decided to text her asking if she wanted to come back to mine, maybe talk or whatever. She replied saying no sorry. I don’t get the girl, she’s complicated and I don’t know what to do. Please advice.
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broke up, drunk, facebook, flirt, fuck buddy, her ex, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response. I honestly don’t know what to think. She has said she doesn’t want a boyfriend and wants to be single. But at the same time the way she is sometimes, contradicts this. I really don’t know if she is that into me, she has said to leave things, and I have been told she was seen leaving the club with some lad. So maybe me saying I like her and want to take things slow is not the best of ideas? After all I don’t want to look silly, or make things awkward.
I agree having regular sex with someone for so long indicates she does like me, but then she is so stubborn and cold now. Hard to workout and confusing. I feel like roles are reversed and she is acting like the lad and I’m the girl. Hard to work out.
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