A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently got divorce and new to the dating scene. I met this guy, who is 44, (Iam 48), and his never been married. He used to work with me. But when we worked together we used to flirt with each other but never talked. Once he left I sent an email to say hello, and since then we being talking for 3 years. We agreed that we liked each other but since I was married he couldn't approach me, because his position, he was one of my bosses. Our emails became raise, and when he came back we met and had sex. The only thing is that I was the one that made the plans, and he was in the states for two weeks and we spendt only one night together. then he went overseas again, and I became so attached and let him know that he pulled away from me, I gave up and stopped communication with him. Then 6 months later, I called him and we did the same thing again, we even started having phone sex, he came to the states for Christmas but never contacted me, then he said he was too busy with his family and taking care of his parents. We live about 500 miles away. But I like him so much that I kept in touch, after two years he told me he was coming for a class and got me a seat in the same class. I was flatter thinking he did that just to see me. He always remembered every detail of our conversations, even what I was wearing during those conversations. So we met again, he sounded and looked excited to see me again. I let him know how I had changed since the last time, that I was more mature and I independent, let him know not to fill obligated to spend those days with me, that I could take care of myself. he said that he liked that and he noticed that i had change. Well were in a classroom for 4 days, had dinner the first night, and he seemed very interested in being with me but would not make a move, and after the class he would go his way and I will go my way. So two nights before the class was over I knew I wasn't going to see him again,and gave up and contacted him asking him what he was waiting for, that we were going to say good bye and probably won't see each other and he knew that I was available. so he made the move, we went out for dinner and of course had great sex and great conversation. he even told me that, but now he is back overseas, and things are back to the old same. People tells me that he is gay, but I know he is not, he got 3 serious relationships and they didn't work out becuase the of the long distance, that is what he told me. His last ex girlfriend still after him and she lives in the same town where he is from. Does he wants me for the sex only? Should I stop contacting him for good? Sometimes i stop but then he looks for me. Which is confusing to me. I like him so much but he is weird.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): Reread your post here and dissect it. You are the one who is pursuing him, you contact him when he stops contacting you, you offer him sex, you are the intstigator of everything and you have been doing this for years.Are you really 48? This is purely an episodic one off sexual fling relationship. All the rest of it is just "filler in between sexual romps".I can't believe you are even wasting one second of brain power analyzing this or are confused about his behavior.He clearly is not interested in pursuing any sort of real relationship with you. I hope if that is what you are expecting that it won't take you four years to figure that out with the next guy.Start actually dating men in your own town, let them pursue you for a change.
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