A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cannot deal with the fact that my partner had a relationship before me. He was with a girl for two years, they lived together and he adored her. They broke up when she emotionally cheated on him. he said the relationship was unhealthy - they fought a lot etc. Now he is with me. He says he loves me. we rarely fight I guess because there is no passion. We are like mates really and of course he loves it. But I dont feel special. To make matters worse he was my first everything. I don't feel like I'm worth much to him. Help!!!
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (10 September 2011):
 Since this is your first relationship, it is hard for me to determine whether your feelings are justified at this stage. You don't give too many examples of why you feel the way you do but I suspect you are feeling a lack of passion in the relationship.
If this is the case, I think you need to bring your concerns to your boyfriend. Explain to him how you are feeling and what you need from him. Be sure you have some examples to him as well... do you need to be held more? Wined and dined? Gifts? Talked to, listened to? etc
At this point, he may be still licking his wounds from his previous girlfriend and is scared to show the same level of commitment and love to you out of fear of getting hurt. How long ago did he break it off with his previous girlfriend?
I suspect there is a lot more going on than what you tell us in your question, but open communication with your boyfriend will significantly help your relationship. Also, enlist your girlfriends and explain to them what you are feeling and see if your feelings are on target or not.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, butterfliesarefree  +, writes (10 September 2011):
If there isn't much "passion" then maybe he just isn't 'the one' for you. Whether you decide to stay with him or not you need to understand that whoever you're with will have a past, just like you do. Its what makes us who we are today. Maybe you should spend sometime alone and work on yourself before you get too heavy with anyone
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