A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost one year and I give him oral 2-3 times per week without him asking but he has only given to me maybe once a month or less. I don't feel like I should have to ask-am I doing something wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): I would be turned on if my girl asked me to give her oral. I love to please her!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I disagree with the other respondents, because I don't have such a "business " attitude to sex : I give you X, therefore I have to get Y back.
At least in theory, if you give him oral 3 times a week- it's because it turns you on and because you like it, not just to make him happy. So it's something you are doing also for yourself, not for him only.
It may be that providing oral is not a great pleasure to him or not his favourite sexual act, so he does it a little less often. It should not be a big problem.
In case instead you don't enjoy giving oral and it 's sort of a chore for you ... then I can see why you feel you are being shortchanged. Like : I work hard to pleasure him, he should work hard to pleasure me. In this case I guess you are entitled to "demand " an exact reciprocation of oral attentions. But then, if it becomes a matter of "equity" and "contractual obligations "... where's the spontainety, where's the fredom of sex ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): My girlfriend is like that about back rubs, but she'll give me one any time I ask. I don't see the problem, just ask. Whats the big deal?
If he gives you oral whenever you ask then there isn't a problem, if he refuses to give you head more than once a month even when you do ask, then that's a different story.
Please don't be one of these people that feels they shouldn't have to ask for things, that people should just magically know you want something without you saying you do. Some people, like my girlfriend, just have no initiative when it comes to things like that, she's not the kind of person that is just going to go ahead and do something like that without being prompted, she's lazy about things like that but not inconsiderate. Just because she doesn't think of doing these things doesn't mean she doesn't want to do it or that she doesn't care or something.
She just knows I'll ask, because I'm the type of person that will ask if I want something, not test her or see it as a bad thing should she not just up and decide to do things like that automatically.
If you think he has to do this on his own without you asking because you feel you "shouldn't have to" then you're just going to go without and that's going to cause problems. Why would you do that to yourself for a stupid principle such as "I shouldn't have to ask".
Do you go in to a store for milk and just assume the assistant should know you want milk and then get pissed off because he didn't read your mind? No of course not, why? Because you wouldn't get milk then. The same applies here and no, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to do it, it just means he thinks you're fine with only getting once a month because you don't ask him for it. Do you see what I;m getting at?
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (17 November 2010):
 This may come as a surprise to some women, but believe it or not.... men consider it a turn on if their woman asks to have oral performed on them. Don't get me wrong, there are some guys that consider it a chore, just as there are some women who think giving oral to a man is a chore. Also, it should never be about "I give it to you, so you gotta give it back to me".
Talk to him. Tell him you really like it and want it more often. Like I said, many men get turned on when their woman asks for it.
One last note: Depending on your exact relationship, sometimes oral can be a bid discouraging to a man when performing it on a woman. Too many times women don't talk enough and let us know what feels good to them. If they feel unsure the entire time they are doing it then the next time they are not going to be very enthusiastic about doing it. The bottom line is that men like it when women are confident. Confident when asking (or even telling) us to perform oral on them, and confident while we're doing it. Many men (or at least the GOOD ones) really want to satisfy their women.
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A
female
reader, hotnhorny  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Welcome to the world of being a woman hunny. Im in the exact same situation. Men just dont seem to realise that oral means just as much to us as it does to them. The best thing I suggest that you can do is talk to him about it and let him no that you would like him to return the favor more often without you having to ask him. If on the off chance that that doesnt work and you still do not get any oral without having to ask then personally I think it would be time for you to be mean. Cut the amount of times that you give him oral down and then maybe he will realise that if he isnt willing to return the favor then why should he have oral so many times when he doesnt have to ask.
Hope this helps hunny and good luck x
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A
female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (17 November 2010):
Stop doing it for him! He'll either get the hint or ask for an explanation. Then you can let your expectations on reciprocation be known. If he wants to get, he must also give!!!
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