A
female
age
26-29,
*SAddict
writes:I don't know what my question is really. I just know that I don't really feel happy 90% of the time when I'm at home. I don't feel close to my parents and I feel like I'm being judged sometimes. My parents think I don't take pride in myself just because I don't like to wear make up and earrings and my mom forces me to wear makeup and earrings to school. I don't think that just because I lack a desire to wear makeup and earrings means that I lack pride. And she always finds a fault in what I wear. I'm not dressing for her so I don't see why she just can't shut up sometimes. And my dad, he's ok, but he's always has something to say about the way I am. I don't feel close to them or like I can talk to them. Even though they've done a lot for me, I just don't feel close to them. I hardly ever talk to them, and I feel like I need to keep things to myself when I'm around them. When I'm with my friends, things are so different and I feel like I can tell them anything and they don't judge. I feel a lot happier when I'm with them. I haven't been to church in a few months, but basically I've come to realize that I feel differently and that I'm not really a religious person and I feel that if I tell my mom, that she won't take my feelings into consideration and will just keep forcing me to go to church. I'm somewhat happy when I'm at home, but it's pretty much when I'm on this site or the computer in general or watching tv or when I get the chance to sleep. It feels kind of awkward to be around them, but at the same time it's not because I'm used to them. I'm not really a talkative person. I'm kind of shy but willing to open up, but I usually just don't talk to someone if I think they're too loud or annoying. And it feels awkward to be around my extended family. I would just rather never be around them at all or see them ever. I feel like I love my family only because I'm supposed to, not because I want to. I just really feel like moving out or something. Like every other thing they say irritates me. Like I'll say something and my mom will give me a lecture about what's important and what's not sometimes, and all I said was one little thing. I don't feel like I'll ever be close to them, and I feel bad that I have no real desire to be. I just feel like I want to be left alone and stop being told to open up to them because I feel like I can't.I don't think I'm depressed. But I feel like crying sometimes or just screaming or even hitting them, which is horrible. Please try not to suggest therapy. I've already tried that when my parents thought I was depressed and that did nothing because I wasn't depressed. Thanks for any responses and sorry it's so long.
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female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (5 September 2011):
VSAddict is verified as being by the original poster of the question They do try and talk to me and my dad said yesterday how he feels that I'm not happy. And he's kind of right because most of the time I'm not. But they've tried to have a relationship and they've been telling me for years that I need to open up to them but I just don't feel comfortable talking to them.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (5 September 2011):
 You seem like a very intelligent woman, and I am sure that you can get your own job.
Become emancipated and live on your own.
If people are really bring you down and you have tried to get through to them but can't it is not worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Your question really made me sad. It sounds like you want a relationship with your parents and they are being emotionally vacant. Most teenagers feel different from their parents and rightfully distance themselves at your age, but I doubt it bothers most of the them in the same way it bothers you.
I know you've said don't suggest therapy, but I will with the recommendation that you ask for family therapy. I think your parents should make an effort as well as you in trying to build a relationship and I don't think they can do that unless the hear how you feel about them in a clear and honest way.
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