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I don't even know if I can trust guys anymore..

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, *es writes:

Why do guys change their minds so quickly????

I had a very serious 7 month relationship (albeit long distance but incredibly intense) with the most wonderful and reliable guy. Even though we had been together for such a short period of time, it was almost unspokely implied that we could get married, and we'd even joke about it.

Then he got really stressed, and in about two weeks became a different person. So three weeks ago he was telling me how much he likes me and misses me, and now he's telling me that he's not sure what he wants to do with his life, basically implying that I dont fit into his plans that might or might not happen 5-10 years down the line.

The attraction and chemistry between us was so strong, that we were not only best friends, I'd also say at the time that he was my soulmate. And now hes a completely different person.

Now I'm sad because I dont even know if I can trust guys anymore.. if HE can do this (and he is the nicest guy I've ever met) is there any hope for the future for any man, or do I always have to be prepared for the fact that something might happen, and all of a sudden, he'll change his mind?

He's 23 if that helps.

View related questions: best friend, long distance, period, soulmate

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A female reader, shaina United States +, writes (9 May 2008):

Dear iam in a same situation like you.12 months in a relationship and all of a sudden this guy dont feel the same for me ..I feel rejected and degrade..

Iam trying to come out of it.will suggest u to do the same.No one has a right to treat us like that..they treat us badly coz we give them a chance to do so.

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A female reader, les United States +, writes (9 May 2008):

les is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for that wonderful response. To update the situation, I've already been feeling very neglected and unloved for the past two weeks, and although I tried to talk to him about it many many many times, he'd just brush me off as busy.

And when I finally forced him to talk about it, he said he might or might not be planning on moving back to his home country several or many years from now, and b/c I'm off a different nationality and speak a different language, basically, he can't be with me.

I kind of couldn't help and blow up at him after he pushed me away so far after pulling me in so close to him, when this was his childhood dream and he new the years BEFORE he even met me. So I was upset and hurt that he would even start anything when this was always on the back of his mind, so I told him everything I thought and cut it off completely and it really took me a while to calm down.

Now I'm wondering if I overreacted..he telling me what I asked for, but I just didnt want to hear it. Or was he unfair to me all along, like I feel he was?

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