A
female
age
36-40,
*xlittlemissxx
writes:I am one confused girl. Well I'm not confused... Maybe I am. I don't know. I just need some advice. For 5 months I have been seeing a guy i met through work. I'm 23, he's 36. Bit of a difference there.. But that's nothing. I always date older men. Anyway like I said I met this guy through work. He started mailing me - just general chat, every day. I found myself looking forward to getting up in the mornings and checking my mail, or if I was working before him - checking my mail on my breaks. It then got to texting then phoning every day. I see him maybe once or twice every couple of weeks and have been intimate with him once in the 5 months. However.. I feel like sometimes he ignores me. I'll text him and he'll ignore me, or I will phone him and he won't respond, Today for example I text him at 11.30am, it's now midnight and he hasn't responded. He does it quite often. I feel like I could scream. I'd like to see more of him but with us working opposite shifts it's difficult. Anyway I don't know what to do - I feel like if this is the way he is now why even bother wasting my time? Or do I ignore him for a few days? I'm annoyed at myself for allowing him to treat me this way. I deserve better. I don't deserve to be ignored and picked up when HE feels like it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): i bet you werent intending this lilmiss, but this post and responses has helped ME. i think you have a way with words that make the arithmatic obvious. i have recently gone through the same thing, and still going over in my head "where did this go wrong?, was it me? was it him?" but as one respondent here says "a man that doesnt return/answer calls, is a RUDE man" that is so true. i knew that i would develop feelings if i slept with him, its natural, but in no way was i clingy or disrespectful until he pulled the same crap ie; not answering/returning calls, telling me he needed sleep, then seeing him online. yes he IS wasting your time, as mine wasted mine (was that proper english? lol)i can only believe that the woman that ends up with this guy will be disappointed time after time, waiting for him to call, to show up, possibly cancelling dates, etc, and you dont want to be that woman, no matter how strong you are. what is that saying "when someone shows you who they are, believe them" the guy obviously has issues, if he cant respect you, he doesnt have any self respect=a lifetime of issues. no thanks, GIRL POWER!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): Whoa, I went through the same thing!! He is wasting your time! I wasted 4 months on a guy that did the same thing. He is not being totally open and honest with you. You are not a toy he can set on a shelf and play with you when HE feels like it. What kind of man ignores texts and calls? A rude man! He is NOt respecting you and your precious time. Also, guys that old usually end up life long bachelors or get married at 50 so they don't die alone. Trust me on this one. My mom married my dad when he was 40. My mom was one hot 22 yr old and wasted her youth on my dad. Older guys don't know what they want. They spend so many years alone that once they marry, they still wanna do their own thing, not compromise, and not have an equal relationship. Forget this guy! He should be estatic that a 23 yr old looked at him twice. He's almost middle aged anyway. Do u want to be with a man that might need viagra soon?
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A
female
reader, tibob  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 You have already answered your own question, you deserve better if you respect yourself. When he feels like he needs to be intimate with you, he comes to you and when he does not have anything to do with you, he puts you aside. Obviously, you are getting feelings for him as no woman can be intimate with a man and not develop feelings for him over time. The problem is that he deoes not seem to feel the same way as you become important only when he decides. Stop being used, value yourself and next time he comes to you, have the courage to turn him down. Believe me, he will be surprised as in his mind he thinks you will always be at his disposition.
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