A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys,So.. me and this guy are really getting along, we flirt, we text, we talk, laugh, ... everything. We're falling for eachother.. hard. And we both know it, because we told eachother. But we're keeping it a secret for our friends and family. At first that was fun, but now it is really getting hard and i don't know what to do about it.Why not just tell our friends and family?Because they would not approve. I mean, they approve but would not think it's a good idea for us to be together, because we are so different. Different types of people, different lives, but the same group of friends.I think we're both scared of telling them, afraid of how they would react and how our story would go on.. I've never been a good "dating" of "girlfriend" type of person.. So I don't know how it could work..And now i'm so scared it is all going to fall apart because we're not handeling it well mentally..Talking about it is an option.. But still.. We need to get out of this "hiding"phase. But how?I don't completely understand my feelings myself, how can I expect others to understand them.. It makes me so sad.. I'm in love, but still broken inside! =(
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 A relationship kept in secret isn't much of a relationship. Who's idea was this in the first place? It's always a red flag when someone wants to hide the fact that they are in a relationship.
If the reasons you're keeping this a secret are valid reason as to why you shouldn't be together, you need to think about that - because if the two of you can't admit to your friends and family that you're seeing each other, then perhaps this relationship is not meant to be.
When people are in love, they want to share their joy with everyone around them. You're being robbed of that experience.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): 1, If you want others to respect you, you need to be independent.
2, If you love this person enough, then you wont worry too much about what other people will think.
3, In general it is good not to have too much of an external frame of reference when it comes to love life. Try to listen to yourself and know what will make you happy don't worry about what others would think. I mean if you fall in love with a chimp then it might be a problem in the society and family, this is by your description a caring and intelligent person that you have, go on and give it a go, see where it goes and have fun.
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