A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi alli am seven months pregnant with my first baby. she wasn't planned but my boyfriend and i were over overjoyed. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and are deeply in love. we've always had a great sex life and since i've been pregnant it's still been just as good! however since my pregnancy has started showing, it seems that he can't get enough of me! he says that my baby bump makes me look hot and desirable. i am fine with this but sometimes i get uncomfortable in certain positions and just want to rest but he pesters me to find different positions that make me comfortable! i love that he takes so much interest in me sexually since i've been pregnant and he's been so supportive in every way since my pregnancy but i'm worried that after the birth of our baby (i'm planning to give birth naturally), when i know i'm going to be sore and in pain for a while, he'll seek sex elsewhere. i have expressed my concerns to him and he tells me i'm silly for even thinking that but i cant help it. i've heard off friends that have had babies that sex still hurts them after three or four years of giving birth! i really don't want that to happen to me, sex means so much to us, we have a really deep connection and i fear that giving birth naturally would ruin that. i have mentioned to my boyfriend that i may consider a C section but he wants me to give birth naturally as we will both be first time parents and he wants the experience of me giving birth as well as myself. can anyone help me please?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (20 April 2014):
Ah pregnant sex, brings back many happy memories! I know it's hard to relax when you can find so many things to worry about, but the reality of getting a new baby, you will discover, is not how you get enough sex but how you will get enough sleep!! At least during the first few weeks. Having a C section is not a good idea, I remember from friends that had to have a c section that there was 6-8 weeks of serious pain, followed by quite a few months of discomfort. In all probability your vagina will spring back into shape much quicker than this. Although it was a few years ago now, I remember childbirth resulting in something like a super period, but after 2 or 3 weeks the vagina was fine, just it's owner was usually asleep, or baby feeding. I do remember being grateful for a few emergency blowjobs, and I am sure that my wife just realised that she had to get baby and husband to sleep as quickly as possible so she could get a few minutes quality sleep.Suggesting your boyfriend will find sex elsewhere is maybe a little insulting to him, but you both will still have sexual needs that you will need to find time for, somehow. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (20 April 2014):
Unless he's cheated in the past I think you're being unfair. Pregnant women can often be a little "crazy" from hormones, so keep that in mind when you're feeling this way. Its as much your hormones talking as anything.
Also, in my experience it only takes a month or a little more to heal. My wife had our first child naturally.
Second, you can still provide alternative forms of pleasure.
Third, maintaining a great sex life with a baby (or kids) is a lot of work, but its important to work it out for the sake of your happiness. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 April 2014):
 I found you some links for support. http://www.whattoexpect.com/what-to-expect/landing-page.aspx
You sound like the woman who found out that she was pregnant later than normal and so perhaps haven't had the prenatal support and time to accept all the changes that pregnancy brings.
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/birth-plan.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Caesarean-section/Pages/Why-is-it-necessary.aspx had this information on it: "If you're anxious about childbirth
If you request a caesarean because you're anxious about childbirth, you should be referred to a healthcare professional who can provide you with appropriate mental health support.
If after discussion and support you still feel a vaginal birth is not an acceptable option, you are entitled to have a planned caesarean section."
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So it does go back to having a really good visit at the doctor's office and discussing all these concerns and issues in a frank and open way.
Best wishes for a safe and healthy delivery and congratulations!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 April 2014):
I see you have two concerns here; one is if your partner will remain faithful to you and the second is whether you will recover enough from childbirth to be able to have sexual intercourse again. Both appear to be irrational fears at this point as you report you are in a long term loving relationship of 5 years and you did not report any concerns about his fidelity. You also are assuming that you will experience painful intercourse for 3-4 years and are considering a C section, and do not mention having discussed this with your OB.
When you ask, can anyone help you, I think the obvious answer is yes, your OB can provide answers to your questions about childbirth and returning to normal sexual function. I'm sure you and every pregnant woman wonder, 'will he be faithful?' when you can't have intercourse after giving birth.
I guess you will have to work out why you don't trust him enough to be faithful? Is this a gut feeling that has arisen after you found out you were pregnant? Or is this something that has been percolating under the surface for some time?
Basically, you do sound like you have some fears that can be addressed by your OB and others that are just well, worrying about something before it happens.
I don't think that 'fear of painful intercourse later' is sufficient reason for a major surgery such as a C section…. that would have to be discussed, again, with the OB.
So you see, everything you post here suggests you need to have a good list of questions for your OB at the next checkup! The fear of him cheating, well, that's something that needs examining too, is the relationship not as solid as you hope?
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