A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, that is even if I have never had an orgasm from intercourse. I need oral or extra attention down there but there have been days when I just can’t orgasm, like just before periods etc.This has never bothered before, because I enjoy foreplay and the physical intimacy involved... plus I know women’s orgasm is more complicated than men and common for women to not orgasm from intercourse. However on days when I cannot orgasm for whatever reason,my boyfriend tends to be upset, like he has disappointed me. He once told me that he is surprised I cannot orgasm from intercourse and that all the women who has been with him have been able to through intercourse. I tried explaining that it was me, not him. But I don’t know what the solution is... Any ideas or suggestions so that both of us are happy and satisfied.
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foreplay, orgasm, period, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (26 May 2018):
 Either he has been extremely lucky with past girlfriends, is an extremely accomplished lover or has been with a lot of women who told him what he wanted to hear so that he didn't feel disappointed. (I would suspect the latter.)
Perhaps you could explain to him that the only thing which disappoints you is that you feel under pressure to "perform".
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2018): Is there any particular reason that you cannot orgasm like his penis siz or possibly you should try a different position that can help you orgasm. You may need to tell him that you just need more foreplay or a position that allows for more g-spot penetration. You could also use sex toys. a vibrating cock ring,massage oils, and maybe watch an erotic movie to get you more in the mood. Just relax and let it happen and it will. Or consider the possibility that you two are mismatched in the romance department and find someone new.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2018): It's an ego thing for men. They place a big emphasis on making a woman orgasm. If they do, they feel like a sexual God. If they don't, they feel like they are a loser in the bedroom. Yeah, quite an extreme but it's the truth. You've got to break that stereotype in his head and that will be tough. Only he can change his way of thinking. Or do what lots of us do, fake it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 May 2018):
 I'd say the BEST way for you both to ENJOY sex he needs to through out his preconceived notion of WHAT a woman experience during sex.
80% of women do NOT climax from penetration. 80%.
Some women even have issues achieving an orgasm from masturbation etc. Some never get ANY.
And some get a lot.
NO two women are the same. And sex can still be VERY enjoyable for a woman without an orgasm.
He needs to stop thinking that his penis is a magic wand and that if you don't get an orgasm he is at fault. Because that is not always how it goes. The MORE pressure he puts ON you to orgasm the more likely YOU will start having problems enjoying sex. Because of HIS pressure.
Basically if he doesn't stop with the DEMAND that you hit a climax HE is going to ruin the sex for both of you.
And maybe he should read up on female orgasms... Just because he has had some exes who climaxed from penetration doesn't make hi man expert.. does it?
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