A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a musical show, and I had to perform a kissing scene with a girl who is a close friend of mine. Initially it was awkward between us but we eventually managed to do the scene without it being awkward. However, at a recent rehearsal of the scene between just the two of us, things went beyond an act. We kissed and she continued the kiss me for much longer than the scene required. For anyone who knows about acting, the passion we demonstrated on stage had actually become something real between us. We got very hot and steamy during the kiss and it resulted in us hurriedly leaving for hers. We didn't have sex but we did engage in oral sex, which has both made it awkward between us due to the scene and our friendship, and also because she has a boyfriend. I keep telling her she should admit it to her boyfriend, as essentially she cheated, but she says it would make things far too awkward.The main problem is knowing how to handle the situation as I do not want our friendship, our scene or the show to suffer because of a spur of the moment event. Any advice on what to do or say to make the situation easier would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 November 2011):
 You might as well have gone onto that stage and said "Macbeth". Yeah, you kinda made a rookie acting mistake. NEVER let things go beyond what's required in the scene until after the show closes. That sexual tension, that passion that can't be unleashed - that's your chemistry and that's what makes the show so exciting to watch.
So yes, as a theater director, my biggest concern is not your friendship (you already got fine advice on that anyway), it's how to get your scene back! How long until the show opens?
Here's my suggestion. She needs to deal with this whole boyfriend thing on her own time. That's her problem. As for your show, you need to swear to each other that it won't happen again. If you actually wish it would - that's okay. Just say that it shouldn't happen again. You need to bring it back to the forbidden place, and that scene is the only place where your chemistry is allowed erupt.
If you find yourselves performing across from each other awkwardly in the next couple of rehearsals, then go back to basics. Before your scene, if you have offstage time, do a crapload of jumping jacks, pushups, run in place. You may have to create artificial chemistry. Getting in some exercise is a good way to do that - you pretty much simulate what happens when there's actual chemistry. Your heart rate goes up, you get out of breath, a little sweaty... and it can create a mood that seems very hot and heavy, even if the two actors feel awkward across from each other.
So, give it a try, break a leg and learn from this experience. It'll certainly help you grow as an actor.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): Just pretend it never happened, that could remove awkwardness for her as she has a boyfriend and should never have allowed things to go that far and it sounds like she feels guilty anyway. By acting normal then you both might be able to move past it.
Telling her to tell her boyfriend is something only she can decide to do. Cheating is very low and her boyfriend doesn't deserve the dishonesty, no disrespect to you but if you did have an STI and she gave oral sex with no protection she could infect her boyfriend. The same risk goes to you as she might have an STI from her boyfriend and passed it to you.
Scary bit over! Just be a friend to her as should she tell her boyfriend about this she may need a lot of support from you and her other friends if he leaves her and she still has feelings for him. But I hope you can both be professionalt enough to put on your best performance for the play and that it goes well : )
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): DER! Should read extinct instead of instinct. AIR HEAD mo!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): Its going to be awkward because of the dishonesty and personally, I am happy to hear that some guilt and remorse may be happening, at least on her part. Tells me some people still have a moral compass and still KNOW right from wrong. I thought that was going extinct. My Hope is renewed!I say, it was a momentary lapse of reason, pleasurable but nonetheless, deal with it and its going to be the consequences of such a dalliance that the show may suffer.You'll both get over it. Mistakes are like that. Just learn from the experience and, don't engage in such an activity UNTIL she is FREE to do so, in that she has no BF. Just happiness abounds when there is no cheating/dishonesty.Best of Wishes, Hope the Show Goes on Swimmingly!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): This is why actors and actresses often hook up ala Brad Pitt and Angelina. Now that this happened, it is impossible to go back. There is water under this bridge and you need to work through it. Tell her about your feelings, let her know your concerns..she may have the same concerns.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): dont make a big deal of it and just carry on its her choice what she does with her bf not yours. There is no reason why you both cant stay friends and carry on as normal.
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