A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I am in an annoying situation.I met a guy in March. I am 27 and he is 28. When I first met him, he seemed nice and harmless. I chatted with him on fb but he responded very slowly. I was fed up one day and stopped talking to himAbout one month after not responding to him, he started pursuing me openly. All his friends thought he liked me and told me he was nice and I should date him. They said he had never dated and he must have liked me to do this.He asked me wether I could be his gf and I said yes.The next two days he was unhappy. I asked him if he truely liked me. He asked for my forgiveness and we broke up two days after I agreed to be his gf!I was heart broken. I tried my best to make myself feel better and ten days later I recovered to the point that I was able to eat again. He then sent me messages online asked me about my life. He tried to make jokes and I started talking to him again.From the way he looked at me and treated me. I thought after all this drama, he realized that he liked me. So I agreed to go to dinner with him.At the dinner, I told him that I still liked him and I was willing to help take care of his sick mother. He remained silence for a couple ofminutes and said that it surprised him that I was not mad at him for what he did. I said I followed my heart and my heart is not mad, it is a bless and therefore I am not mad.He did not suggest us getting back together and I feel he backed up again.I am so sad. I do not understand why he has to play me like this. I feel every time I was about move on he will show up and give me aome hope, and he will take that hope back when I was ready to love him again.Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 August 2013):
 The guy doesn't WANT a GF he wants to be single - YOU want a BF... so you two are not on the same page, stop wasting your time.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 August 2013):
 He's "playing" you because YOU LET HIM DO SO!!!!!!
Frankly, the whole incident/affair that you described sounds quite childish to me... AND, not worth your time or effort....
Certainly, there are MANY MORE guys "out there" who will not behave this way... and who would LOVE to spend time with you. Find one of them....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (4 August 2013):
 Why are you lingering on this one guy? Is he the only man in your life?
I honestly don't think that he's playing you. It sounds like he's just really shy and maybe a little insecure.
The only feasible path that I can see taking here is you moving forward with your life (and other dating potentials, if you like). In the meantime keep him in your contacts, but talk to him as a friend. Don't push him to date. He's the type that needs to be friends with a girl for a while before he can comfortably date her.
Try, as friends, to meet up in person. Stop relegating your communication to Facebook. Do stuff together and with his + your other friends. Just be sure to emphasize that there's no pressure at these events, and you're not expecting anything romantic from him.
If he really likes you and really wants to be with you, hopefully he'll work on opening up a bit as he gets more comfortable with the idea of dating you.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (4 August 2013):
 i think that after the first time he let you down alarm bells would have been ringing for most people. He let you down to the point where you diden't even fancy eating. You picked yourself up, dusted yourself down and got yourself back together again, good on you for that. I think that meeting up with him for dinner was not such a good idea, however by going out with him again you have seen that he hasen't changed atal. I think now's the time to delete him from everything that you have, email, phone, F/book, and move on. There are loads of nice guys out there who are nice and will treat you with the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
Good luck
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