A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:1st of all id like to ask God for forgiveness for not appriciating what he gave me.Hi im 18 years old and im very slim and 5 feet and 1 inch tall... I really dislike my physical appearance... everywhere I go people ask me if im 12 yrs old or so... it really agrivates me...I have a very low self esteem... I hate shoppin and go out because I dnt like da way clothes fit me anymoreand dnt like to feel lower than everyone but I always do everytime I go out...Because of my lack of self esteem I push every1 who matters away and even my boyfriend... he don't understand bcuz he doesn't know wats goin on with me...I try to tell him but I dnt want him to look at me different... and I make him suffers a lot bcuz of da way I feel about myself...Please help me...I dnt like some people bcuz if I dnt like myself im not expected to like othersPlease help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): I know exactly where you are coming from.
It is really hard for me to like people and actually get to trusting them. I have a feeling you have trouble trusting people too... Figure out why you push people away and then work on it, really try to purposefully bring more people in. You will have a very lonely life if you don't (I need to follow my own advice).
I understand how hard it is to be nice to your boyfriend when you are constantly thinking negative thoughts about the way you look. Constantly worrying and wishing you were taller, more shapely, older-looking (sounds weird, but some times I wish I looked older too), etc. All this wishing and self-hating takes away from life... It is very irritating how something like the way you look can have such a negative impact on your outlook.
It sucks because I would like to help you, give you a ton of advice. I can however tell you what I am doing for myself - how I am dealing with my low-self esteem/worth, anxiety, and negative thoughts. My college has counseling services that have helped, but the trick is to continue going consistently. I wonder when I will be able to go on with my life without feeling like I NEED a counselor.
I don't know how you feel about seeing a counselor, but I can tell you that I highly recommend it. It feels so good to get everything off your chest and have someone understand how you feel and even sympathize.
I hope this helps. :-)
A
female
reader, molly4  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 All girls have problems with their appearance. Sometimes you just need to look in the mirror and say "so what? i am perfect just the way i am" cause does it really matter in the long run? as long as you are happy and healthy thats all that matters. avoid magazines which throw unrealistic expectations at us and watch shows like the Tyra Show's So What episode, she is really fun and promotes good self esteem in girls. search it on youtube. all i can say is love your body, and if its hard just lie to yourself and think positive even if its lies, and eventually it will come true! this really works. hope i helped! xoxo
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Well, this is not a philosophical answer to your question BUT, I love short slim girls. LOVE! And I love girls who look younger than their age. You sound very very appealing!
Since you're only 18 I can understand that it's galling to be compared to a 12 year old. But believe me, there are benefits! When you get to 28 and people think you look only 22, you'll be the envy of a lot of people.
Easy to say, I know, but you shouldn't worry too much about it. Honest. Don't concentrate on hobbies or anything else. Just remember, whatever you think of your appearance, there are people who are going find you attractive. If you've got small breasts, rest assured, there are lots of guys out there who would love to "reassure" you about the attractiveness of your breasts. And if you've got big breasts, there are also lots of guys out there who would be only too happy to "prop up" your ego. And medium-sized breasts? Say no more!
The same applies to short thin people, or tall thin people, or short plump people, or tall plump people. There are plenty of people ready to appreciate your particular body shape.
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