A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am no longer physically attracted to my husband to the point where I have no interest in kissing and diminishing interest in sex. The main reason is because he is balding and is now severly bald. I am also starting to realise other physical faults such as his acne scars, crooked tooth and lack of muscles. The last few issues were present before we married but I never saw them as an issue. On the other hand, he is considerate and always says he loves me. He does his fair share of the house work without being asked, he cooks dinner nearly ever evening, he rubs my back and averages 8 out of 10 in bed, though I have never been with another person. He is also pretty fit but lean.We are in our twenties but because of his balding he looks like 45. After about 2 years I managed to get him to go to a hair specialist but his balding is severe and a transplant will not cover the area. The medication that may slow down and somewhat reverse the balding has side-effects such as impotency. Basicaly therefore, the hair loss is permanent. He can however, get a wig but is dragging his feet on the issue.My problem of not being physically attracted to him is not going away. We have a fairly active lifestyle, travelling, dancing, cycling but I do not like how I am beginning to feel old because of how he looks. It is as though I am going out with my father. I am even thinking of sleeping with other guys. What should I do?
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acne, kissing, muscle Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-not-attracted-to-my-balding-husband.html
Are you the same person that posted this question?
I think that you need to decide whether or not you love you husband. Physical attraction IS important, but TRUE love IS, and SHOULD be, unconditional.
Je te répeté:
You know in your heart whether or not you love him. If you do, then the marriage is worth saving. If you don't, then I imagine that there is someone out there who WILL love him. We ALL have our physical defects, and if you love someone, you can see the beauty of the person's soul.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): A balding man has a genetic condition. It's nothing he ever had any control over being affliced with, and he can't stop it with any amount of effort.
A fat person has (mostly) an environmental condition. They are doing it to themselves every day and they have the power to mostly eliminate the problem if they worked at it.
And which condition is more socially acceptable to make jokes about? The balding guy.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 June 2009):
 Dear poster, I have the feeling that you already posted what essentially was the same question, and got different answers from different people.
The advice I can give you now is to make your own decision, whatever it is. No one can decide for you. It's your marriage you'd be ending. I am afraid you want to remove the responsibility from your own shoulders.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-not-attracted-to-my-balding-husband.html
Is this your same question??
If so, you recieved plenty of good advice. Well we tried anyway!
And if not, then maybe you and this other person can have a chat together about your balding husbands.
~SY.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): your gona need to face the fact that all guys go threw that sometime in their life. where they be 20, 40, or 70 its going to happen. some are luckier to keep it longer than others. but you should discriminate because hes balding. i have the same issue. im in my early twenties and the guy im seeing is in this early thirties. hes balding but not badly. and i admit also that when i think of flaws the ONLY one i can come up with is that one. but its going to happen to them sometime so i need to over look it. when HE brings it up i just say it doesnt bother me but if it bothers him there can be solutions for it. but i would never make him do it or even mention the fact of a wig. some guys are very self conscious of it an would rather just pretend it not happening. yes it bothers me cause we are 10 yrs apart and i think ok what if we get even more serious and he kisses me in public or walk down the street holding hands are ppl staring or thinkin wow hes old becuz with the balding it makes them seem older. so my advice to you is if you cant deal with it dont be with him. but it seems like you are more doing a self image thing where is hes not perfect next to you then ppl think things.but you should make him get it fixed or even bring it up alot cause it probably makes him feel worse. but thats just my advise. im not in a big position to tlk since my guy is the same way but he brings it up to me and i just said i dont care but yes it maks them seem older. BUT on a positive note the no hair look is actually coming back in style. i just hate it where they have some hair thats realllly short then you start geting the hair line circle. thats hwen i think they need to just shave it so theres no line.
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