A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I went out last weekend to the bar district. I had broken up with my boyfriend of 6 months about three weeks prior and just wanted to go out and have a good time. I met a really hot and fun guy. The two of us went back to his place and, obviously, had sex. The next day/morning he was very sweet and took every step to make sure I was happy and comfortable in his home. He asked if we could see each other again. We exchanged phone numbers and have talked randomly throughout the week. We're planning on meeting up next weekend.My question is, how should I act? This is not only the first time I've gone out with someone random after hooking up, but my first "one night stand." (Good thing it didn't turn out to be one night) I'm not sure what we're doing, but I'm unsure of how to handle myself. Should I expect sex on the first date? I mean, we've already done it? Why not now? It's just a confusing and stressful situation. I mean, I do like the guy. I'm just unsure how to handle myself. Help, please!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 Don't feel like you have to have sex with him just because you did the first time. The thing is he may only be looking for another hook up from you, or he could be genuine and he wants to get to know you, if you read his body language you should be able to see if he is serious about you or only wanting sex. But remember you don't have to do it again just because you already did, unless off course you want to. But in my opinion I would hold off for a while.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (3 July 2016):
 Don't go anywhere private unless you just want it to be about sex. Unless he's said date, "seeing each other again" could easily mean sex only.If you want a relationship, I'd strongly advise waiting at least 6+ dates (unless that doesn't at least equal 6 weeks) or 2+ months, whichever you prefer, before having sex again. If you do just want a fling, have sex, but most dates that result in sex from so early on don't last because sex is the foundation, rather than an actual bond. That doesn't mean it wouldn't work, just that it would be very unlikely to.Stick to public places only until you're ready to have sex again. Then ask questions, listen, ask questions about his answers, hope he is interested in asking you questions and getting to know you, not just your body.Dress to fit the occasion, but I'd still keep it classy :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): get him talking about himself and draw him out by being a very good listener. Nod, and ask an occasional open question to draw him out further. Comment in a calm supportive way, where appropriate, and then add in another open question. Open questions can lead on from something he has told you. You can then ask, "what made you decide to.." (go, do, study that, choose ..etc)
Or you can ask "When did you know...."
keep on drawing him out and letting him reveal the man he is and the things that are important to him. That way the relationship will not start and be focused entirely on sex. Sex alone will soon become less enticing if that is all there is to look forward to.
Being a good listener is very flattering for a man to know that the woman is fascinated to hear about him and what is important to him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): Now that youve hopped into bed on the first night he is gonna see you as a friend with benefits!Sex is part of the deal so if you're up for it you may as well enjoy it and make it one of those super hot things that may or may not fizzle out.Not much point backing out now and it is not gonna be a good idea to start saying your not normally that type of girl!Dont start talking of marriage because you are technically nowhere near there.You could boost his ego by telling him he was so hot you couldnt resist but realistically you both had your reasons.
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