A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This seems to be one of my longer stories so here it goes. I met this girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit before I got her number. We would text back and forth, we wanted to meet but I was very busy with school while she was as busy with work. But every time we try to hang out the shittiest things happen. First she gets sick, needs surgery, gets surgery, gets infection from surgery. So we obviously can't hang out. Next time we plan something, family member dies and that takes her time for a week. Next she gets a blood clot and needs surgery and rehab. By this time we have been talking for two months and have yet to meet. We talk on the phone on the regular, and when we do its for atleast two hours. she says she likes me the same way I like her. I needed that reassurance due to the fact that she never really texts me first and doesn't ask about my life. So here it is, she agreed to hang out last Saturday but when Saturday rolled around I tried to confirm the hang out and she just didn't say anything. By this point my patience is wearing thin and I told her it wasnt cool,she wasn't too happy about that and said I was being mean? I really like this girl but its been two months and its gotten to the point where my friends don't believe she even exists. Do I call it quits? Or keep at it? Not like I have any other girl on the go.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 That's a lot to have happened in two months, and if I am honest with you I have a feeling that she may be lying to you, it sounds like she makes up excuses so that she does not have to see you in person, but she seems to enjoy the attention that you give her. How do you know this girl is who she says she is? Apart from her tinder profile have you video called her? It could be she is using fake pictures and is to scared to come clean. I think you are wasting your time buddy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): I can relate to the fact that life can give you a pretty poopie hand at times . Example my nans sick .. I had back surgery a year ago still recouping physio plus my daughter not well .. I would not start a relationship ( already have one) however I would put my cards on the table and say hey if you wanted to be friends then this is what I can offer at the minute . As honeypie says her life seems to full of stuff doesn't mean we can say hasn't happened to her .
Maybe life just isn't gelling for her .. I think you need to ask her what she looming for .. and what your willing to accept really .
Chin up though ..
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (3 July 2016):
 Yep, call it quits.
You haven't met because she doesn't want to meet.
I know life happens and so do emergencies, but this many and this early on and only when you're on the verge of meeting? Then she gets defensive to draw your attention away from what she's doing. Best defense/good offense thing.
Even if they're genuine emergencies, as has been pointed out, how is this budding relationship ever supposed to get off the ground?
I think she's playing games. She might be too shy, or fears she's not attractive enough, but in any event, let her play her games elsewhere.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): She likes the flirting and the attention because for now, it feels "safe" if she have to see you in person. It's "safe" because getting physical is impossible and she can disappear. She wants to drag out the flirting/attention/ego boost as long as she can. You do all the work, she kicks back and basks in the attention. Nope. Drop her. And if possible, let the site (and possibly other potential guys) know exactly what she's like.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 July 2016):
 third vote for call it quits.... she's just playing with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 July 2016):
 To be honest OP?
I'd call it quits. Why?
TBH... it smells like there is some "cat-fishing" going on.
She has WAY too much on her plate to be dating. She have run into a series of "unfortunate" events dealing with her health and those WILL be ongoing, so if meeting UP is so impossible... how would you two even date and get to know each other in person?
However, screw what your friends think.
Also... when you two DID set up a plan she "ghosted" you to AVOID meeting up. And when you called her on it she got defensive to make YOU feel bad.
Sorry, I'd move on. And if you are looking for a GF... maybe Tindr isn't the place?
...............................
A
female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (3 July 2016):
You call it quits. I don't believe all that occurred to be honest, and then to ignore you when she's run out excuses- and you are always contacting first? Not cool at all. Id leave it now
...............................
|
